The Lie of Being Trapped- Freedom from our Babies

Last week I started a series about freedom. It’s a word that we don’t normally associate with motherhood but I want to show you how you can either recognize or reclaim some freedom into your world.

Tiny people are exhausting. If yours aren’t talking yet then you’re most likely still walking around half-awake in the kind of exhaustion that comes along with night-nursing, teething, and attaching baby locks to every cupboard and drawer. Or you may be the kind of worn out that only moms who have bodily removed a screaming, tantruming toddler from Target understand. Maybe you’re balancing your time between children that range from infancy and beyond and in the same day you’ve cleaned baby poop off of a wall and sent a mouthy child to her room. Whatever your degree of tired, it feels confining. I know that. I’m there. And it is so easy to feel completely overwhelmed when you look at your children first thing in the morning and can already tell that your plans aren’t happening. One is already yawning and cranky from poor sleep, another is making every little task an enormous challenge testing your already thread bare patience before you’ve even had your coffee. And then the voice pipes up. “My whole day is ruined because of my kids. I can’t do anything. I have no life. Why do I even try to make plans?” That voice, the whisperer of lies, is manipulative and powerful. But that voice only has as much control as you give it. It’s not our children that steal our freedom, it’s us.

Now before you start talking to your phone/tablet/computer screen and arguing with me, let me explain.  There are times when our kids are going to call the shots. Illness, injury, refusal to take a bottle are a few of those non-negotiables. But aside from those things, are you still letting life get the best of you when it comes to having time away from your children? This scenario might sound familiar. You get asked out for happy hour by a girlfriend who you would love to catch up with. You get excited and absolutely need the time away! The day comes and your toddler has a runny nose so is particularly cranky. Making it to the grocery store doesn’t happen like it should so you call your husband to make sure he’s home on time and picks up dinner as well because you just don’t have anything to make. Suddenly it’s 5:00, he’s not home because traffic is a mess, you’re still not out of sweats because of said toddler and the whole thing becomes too overwhelming to feel worth it. You cancel. And then you’re miffed about it for the rest of the evening and probably the entire next day. Moms, this was me for my daughter’s first two years of life. Was it fair that it always just felt so hard to make it happen?  No. But is that how life goes sometimes? Yes! And who else is going to advocate that you get some time to yourself if you don’t? Perhaps you feel guilty taking more time away because you are a working mom. That was me. Maybe you know that things just run more smoothly when you’re home and you would rather stay and run the show than come home to dishes and a baby still awake. That was me too. Until those reasons no longer worked- no longer justified feeling like I was a victim in my own choices. Thankfully my husband noticed it at the same time and started encouraging me to make plans and do fun things. He even went so far as to book me a flight and send me down to see one of my best girls in Cali shortly after our daughter turned two! But please, if you’re feeling trapped and you’re resenting it do not wait for someone to make plans for you and push you out the door. You deserve more from yourself. You deserve to nurture your friendships with fun and uninterrupted conversation. You deserve to nurture your big, beautiful brain with reading and enjoying culture and beauty. There is a lot that we can do with our kids by our sides but also a lot that we can’t. And that is OK. Getting out is OK.

Before I leave and that whiny, annoying little voice of negativity starts to whisper why you are the exception to this post let me give you a few ideas on how to make this doable. Because there is nothing I love more than proving a liar wrong 😉

  • Make a date, write it on the calendar, and then tell a lot of people how excited you are! This will get you more excited and more likely not to cancel for a “silly” reason, it will keep Daddy/Grandma/Babysitter on the ball and remembering that they are responsible for the babes during that time, and if you have people asking you all day “hey aren’t you doing ___ tonight?” you’re going to stay excited and be less likely to cancel.
  • Plan for meals while you are gone at least a day in advance. You will feel that much easier leaving and won’t be stressed the day of.
  • Tell your kids a couple days in advance and keep reminding them how great it is going to be that they get to have some special Daddy/Grandma/Babysitter time.
  • Be prepared to come home to things not being as you left them and remind yourself that there will always be messes to clean, kids to put back in bed, etc etc. What matters is that you got some time away and the kids were well cared for.
  • Build a network of people who are available to come be with your kiddos and who love to do it. Because time away without your significant other is fun but you guys need date nights too! Make sure that you’re building people into your network who let you get away together so you’re not always tag-teaming your fun.
  • Give your kids as many kisses and hugs as they need before leaving…but still leave. If you love and trust who you are leaving them with they will sense that and know it’s ok that you are gone. Moms are magic, but there is a lot of magic to be found in other incredible caregivers.

Enjoy today and while you’re at it, call a friend. Make a date. Go have FUN!

Cheers ~ Heather

6,010 thoughts on “The Lie of Being Trapped- Freedom from our Babies”

  1. Det er de skønneste strager! Lækre farver. Min kusine har et par stykker af dem og jeg sukker over dem hver gang jeg er pÃ¥ besøg. NÃ¥r de nu laves sÃ¥ tæt pÃ¥ mig, sÃ¥ burde jeg jo…. Købe en:-)Go dag

  2. Wow, marvelous blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your website is magnificent, let alone the content!. Thanks For Your article about Flacidez nos braços pode ser combatida com a prática de pilates | Vittalisa .

  3. "Basically he is at the behest of the Crown powers & cannot think, act nor decide of his own accord"The Crown should be pointing him to do duty to God. The Queen is supposed to be keeping the throne warm for the Messiah, according to the oath she made when she allowed the Crown to be placed upon her head. I'm not sure if the Queen understands her Coronation Oath, but I think some of the masons who surround her do very well!

  4. Оказываем широкий спектр лингвистических услуг! Вам нужен грамотный перевод? Мы с радостью поможем Вам в этом. Услуги оказываются только профессионалами с высшим образованием и большим опытом работы.
    агентство переводов и другое. Переводческое агенство хорошо закрепило себя в Европе, России, Азии… Делаем перевод аудио на/c более чем 120 языков мира. Точное соблюдение сроков сдачи и высокое качество выполненных заказов. Компания оказывает услуги юридическим лицам, ИП и частным лицам.
    Заполните форму на сайте или отправьте письмо на электронную почту, и наш администратор ответит вам в течение пятнадцати минут. Бесплатно сделает расчёт стоимости документов, проконсультирует по услугам и действующим скидкам на сегодняшний день. Пишите, звоните, будем рады видеть вас в числе наших клиентов.

  5. Srt.Donutdefresa la que le da el broche del sinsajo es sae la grasienta alex tiene razon,yo la e visto hoy por segunda vez y mañana la veo de nuevo!!es impresionante una magnifica adaptacion me encanto cumplio co lo que yo esperaba pese a pequeños fallos como el doblaje o alguna escena que falta pero es imposible meter un libro en una pelicula a la perfeccion,pero creo que esta pelicula roza lo perfecto

  6. Aw, this was a really nice post. In concept I want to put in writing like this additionally – taking time and actual effort to make a very good article… however what can I say… I procrastinate alot and under no circumstances appear to get something done.

  7. Sign me up!! My weekends in June are wide open right now, so lets just pick one… Does June 7 or 8 work for you? If not, let me know. Location? Do you have a favorite place? There’s a pretty park by our house with a cute bridge and a semi-natural wash, but I’m not picky. I can’t wait!

  8. heey mayai am a swifty i will not lie about it but when i head the song and read what it was about and tht picture of ronan appeared i really had to cry. every time i here the song the tears burst in my eyes over and over again. i’m so sorry for you and your family that you have to miss ronan R.I.Ptake care xxx

  9. The case you need to bleed it that when you open the expansion tank cap and check the level when engine is hot, which is 1/2 gauge mark on temperature indicator. Air will suck in if engine hot after pressure push out some antifreeze and contraction that make air entering into system.

  10. secondo te non esistono anche solo le lobby che controllano brevetti e ricerca.. è tutto alla luce del sole, [bla bla bla] che è un mondo giusto, ove nessuno specula e manovra.E dove avrei detto queste cose?Cosa c'entra questo "discorso" con ciò di cui discutevamo?Stavamo parlando di una "certa scienza" che non considera le "voci fuori dal coro".

  11. Εγώ τα πήρα που δεν βγήκε η Britney. Το Piece of me είναι by far καλύτερο απo αυτο το Eurodance που μου θυμίζει late 90’s… (Πιο παλια δεν θυμάμαι :P)

  12. I am writing to make you know of the great discovery my friend’s daughter undergone browsing your web site. She figured out a wide variety of issues, which include what it’s like to have an excellent coaching mindset to make other individuals smoothly master various grueling topics. You truly surpassed visitors’ expected results. Thank you for providing the powerful, healthy, informative and also unique guidance on the topic to Evelyn.

  13. , “Well, isn’t your husband recovering from a wound at Walter Reed?” to which my mother replied, “No, he’s on a presidential mission in Arkansas. He’s fine!” My brother freakin’ takes the cake with awesome lies that get you out of having to do schoolwork.

  14. intenseMost workout without equipment that made you ?What is an intense workout that made you fastand get in shape?And without equiptment besides a treadmill because that is all I have and am not goin to buy aything ahah.What was your routineAnd how long did it take youThankyou(:

  15. Just desire to say your article is as amazing.
    The clarity in your post is just excellent and i could assume you’re an expert on this subject.

    Fine with your permission allow me to grab your feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post.
    Thanks a million and please continue the enjoyable work.

  16. Nubby!I truly admire your work – what an ‘eye’ for a design.And I need an advice.I draw. I paint. But-yes, I don’t want to starve I am getting my transcripts ready ( I am originally from Poland, but living in US now) and I want to study graphic design.What are the schools that you would recommend along with the schools providing online degrees ?Anything comes to mind ?Please..kindly please…Love your black-white-red obsession!Marta Rawvolta

  17. its not that paranoia infact if she did thought so it does not happens many people sing khayals sung by her but they cant imitate her even.its a pity if she felt like that.well alot has been saved from the treasure.ALLAH DIYA KHAN SAHIB never recorded any thing commercially thats why u have not heard him.dont know if someone has a private mehfil recording.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *