The Lie of Being Trapped- Freedom from our Babies

Last week I started a series about freedom. It’s a word that we don’t normally associate with motherhood but I want to show you how you can either recognize or reclaim some freedom into your world.

Tiny people are exhausting. If yours aren’t talking yet then you’re most likely still walking around half-awake in the kind of exhaustion that comes along with night-nursing, teething, and attaching baby locks to every cupboard and drawer. Or you may be the kind of worn out that only moms who have bodily removed a screaming, tantruming toddler from Target understand. Maybe you’re balancing your time between children that range from infancy and beyond and in the same day you’ve cleaned baby poop off of a wall and sent a mouthy child to her room. Whatever your degree of tired, it feels confining. I know that. I’m there. And it is so easy to feel completely overwhelmed when you look at your children first thing in the morning and can already tell that your plans aren’t happening. One is already yawning and cranky from poor sleep, another is making every little task an enormous challenge testing your already thread bare patience before you’ve even had your coffee. And then the voice pipes up. “My whole day is ruined because of my kids. I can’t do anything. I have no life. Why do I even try to make plans?” That voice, the whisperer of lies, is manipulative and powerful. But that voice only has as much control as you give it. It’s not our children that steal our freedom, it’s us.

Now before you start talking to your phone/tablet/computer screen and arguing with me, let me explain.  There are times when our kids are going to call the shots. Illness, injury, refusal to take a bottle are a few of those non-negotiables. But aside from those things, are you still letting life get the best of you when it comes to having time away from your children? This scenario might sound familiar. You get asked out for happy hour by a girlfriend who you would love to catch up with. You get excited and absolutely need the time away! The day comes and your toddler has a runny nose so is particularly cranky. Making it to the grocery store doesn’t happen like it should so you call your husband to make sure he’s home on time and picks up dinner as well because you just don’t have anything to make. Suddenly it’s 5:00, he’s not home because traffic is a mess, you’re still not out of sweats because of said toddler and the whole thing becomes too overwhelming to feel worth it. You cancel. And then you’re miffed about it for the rest of the evening and probably the entire next day. Moms, this was me for my daughter’s first two years of life. Was it fair that it always just felt so hard to make it happen?  No. But is that how life goes sometimes? Yes! And who else is going to advocate that you get some time to yourself if you don’t? Perhaps you feel guilty taking more time away because you are a working mom. That was me. Maybe you know that things just run more smoothly when you’re home and you would rather stay and run the show than come home to dishes and a baby still awake. That was me too. Until those reasons no longer worked- no longer justified feeling like I was a victim in my own choices. Thankfully my husband noticed it at the same time and started encouraging me to make plans and do fun things. He even went so far as to book me a flight and send me down to see one of my best girls in Cali shortly after our daughter turned two! But please, if you’re feeling trapped and you’re resenting it do not wait for someone to make plans for you and push you out the door. You deserve more from yourself. You deserve to nurture your friendships with fun and uninterrupted conversation. You deserve to nurture your big, beautiful brain with reading and enjoying culture and beauty. There is a lot that we can do with our kids by our sides but also a lot that we can’t. And that is OK. Getting out is OK.

Before I leave and that whiny, annoying little voice of negativity starts to whisper why you are the exception to this post let me give you a few ideas on how to make this doable. Because there is nothing I love more than proving a liar wrong 😉

  • Make a date, write it on the calendar, and then tell a lot of people how excited you are! This will get you more excited and more likely not to cancel for a “silly” reason, it will keep Daddy/Grandma/Babysitter on the ball and remembering that they are responsible for the babes during that time, and if you have people asking you all day “hey aren’t you doing ___ tonight?” you’re going to stay excited and be less likely to cancel.
  • Plan for meals while you are gone at least a day in advance. You will feel that much easier leaving and won’t be stressed the day of.
  • Tell your kids a couple days in advance and keep reminding them how great it is going to be that they get to have some special Daddy/Grandma/Babysitter time.
  • Be prepared to come home to things not being as you left them and remind yourself that there will always be messes to clean, kids to put back in bed, etc etc. What matters is that you got some time away and the kids were well cared for.
  • Build a network of people who are available to come be with your kiddos and who love to do it. Because time away without your significant other is fun but you guys need date nights too! Make sure that you’re building people into your network who let you get away together so you’re not always tag-teaming your fun.
  • Give your kids as many kisses and hugs as they need before leaving…but still leave. If you love and trust who you are leaving them with they will sense that and know it’s ok that you are gone. Moms are magic, but there is a lot of magic to be found in other incredible caregivers.

Enjoy today and while you’re at it, call a friend. Make a date. Go have FUN!

Cheers ~ Heather

185,974 thoughts on “The Lie of Being Trapped- Freedom from our Babies”

  1. We are a gaggle of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community. Your site provided us with valuable information to work on. You’ve done a formidable job and our entire group will probably be thankful to you.

  2. Howdy! I know this is kinda off topic but I’d figured I’d ask.
    Would you be interested in trading links or maybe
    guest authoring a blog post or vice-versa? My blog discusses a
    lot of the same topics as yours and I think we could greatly benefit from each other.
    If you’re interested feel free to shoot me an e-mail.
    I look forward to hearing from you! Great blog by the way!

  3. It helps to build you up as a person too. An example of one such instance on my site is a horse called Ameeq. Therefore, what are you waiting for? Sign up for the first tennis lesson and you will not glance back again!. Buxton is a graduate of the National Ballet School of Canada.锘?For many years I was sceptical of people who claimed to be professional gamblers.

  4. It’s very easysimpletrouble-freestraightforwardeffortless to find out any topicmatter on netweb as compared to bookstextbooks, as I found this articlepostpiece of writingparagraph at this websiteweb sitesiteweb page.

  5. In addition, new coaches and staff were hire. Easy guidelines like the the kind above generate a measurable optimistic influence on your financial acumen.”I can understand why people can be upset about me signing a contract and me having the kind of year I had,” he said. Let’s say the FTSE moved up slightly and is now 1.Now, UGG produces a multitude of products, besides its famous footwear.
    NFL Jerseys From China

  6. BecauseSinceAsFor the reason that the admin of this websiteweb sitesiteweb page is working, no doubthesitationuncertaintyquestion very soonrapidlyquicklyshortly it will be famouswell-knownrenowned, due to its qualityfeature contents.

  7. I alwaysall the timeevery time used to readstudy articlepostpiece of writingparagraph in news papers but now as I am a user of internetwebnet sothustherefore from now I am using net for articlespostsarticles or reviewscontent, thanks to web.

  8. Thanks for the thoughts you reveal through this web site. In addition, quite a few young women which become pregnant don’t even seek to get medical insurance because they are full of fearfulness they probably would not qualify. Although some states currently require that insurers give coverage no matter the pre-existing conditions. Costs on these kind of guaranteed plans are usually larger, but when thinking about the high cost of medical treatment it may be a new safer route to take to protect your financial potential.

  9. What i don’t understood is in reality how you are no longer really a
    lot more smartly-favored than you may be now.
    You are so intelligent. You understand therefore
    significantly relating to this matter, made me individually
    imagine it from so many varied angles. Its like women and men don’t seem to be
    involved except it is something to do with Woman gaga!
    Your individual stuffs nice. At all times deal with it
    up!

  10. I’m not that much of a onlineinternet reader to be honest but your blogssites really nice, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your sitewebsite to come back laterdown the roadin the futurelater on. CheersAll the bestMany thanks

  11. My spouse and IWeMy partner and I stumbled over here coming from afrom aby a different web pagewebsitepageweb address and thought I mightmay as wellmight as wellshould check things out. I like what I see so now i amnow i’mi am just following you. Look forward to going overexploringfinding out aboutlooking overchecking outlooking atlooking into your web page againyet againfor a second timerepeatedly.

  12. heyhello there and thank you for your informationinfo – I’veI have definitelycertainly picked up anythingsomething new from right here. I did however expertise somea fewseveral technical issuespoints using this web sitesitewebsite, sinceas I experienced to reload the siteweb sitewebsite manya lot oflots of times previous to I could get it to load properlycorrectly. I had been wondering if your hostingweb hostingweb host is OK? Not that I amI’m complaining, but sluggishslow loading instances times will very frequentlyoftensometimes affect your placement in google and cancould damage your high qualityqualityhigh-quality score if advertisingads and marketing with Adwords. AnywayWell I’mI am adding this RSS to my e-mailemail and cancould look out for a lotmuch more of your respective intriguingfascinatinginterestingexciting content. Make sureEnsure that you update this again soonvery soon.

  13. BecauseSinceAsFor the reason that the admin of this websiteweb sitesiteweb page is working, no doubthesitationuncertaintyquestion very soonrapidlyquicklyshortly it will be famouswell-knownrenowned, due to its qualityfeature contents.

  14. Hi there this is somewhat of off topic but I was wondering if
    blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML.

    I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding know-how so I wanted to get advice
    from someone with experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *