Sneaky Anxiety

I woke up two nights ago at a typical nurse back to sleep time for my son. I couple hear him starting to fuss a little and decided to bring him back into bed with me over trying to stay awake enough to put him back to sleep in his own bed. I snuggled him in under my arm, his knees curled into my belly in a puzzle fitting of bodies that we have been perfecting for 7 months now. I started to drift off to sleep but every time I did I would wake up suddenly with a racing heart. It was similar to having the falling dream and waking in a panic only I wasn’t asleep enough to dream. This happened about five or six times until I realized that I was in a cold sweat, the room was spinning and my heart was racing. It had been years but I knew what I was experiencing. An anxiety attack. I sat up suddenly I instructed my husband to please soothe our son as I placed my head between my knees and breathed. I was angry. Why was this happening? I wasn’t any more stressed than usual. I wasn’t feeling particularly smothered, tapped out or out of control. My postpartum experience this time around had been so wonderful and IN control. And then it dawned on me. My period. I had just started my period for the first time since pre-pregnancy. My hormones were changing and my body was struggling to keep up. Knowing there was a reason for the anxiety attack, my body seemed to relax almost as soon as I made the connection. When I felt strong enough to stand up I did a quick walk around the house, got some water, inhaled my favorite balancing essential oil, changed into cooler, looser pajamas and cracked the window. Then I climbed back into bed ready to reassume cuddling and nursing with my son until we both drifted off to sleep. In the morning I was able to briefly address what had happened with my husband and we shrugged it off as an isolated event. But it really stayed with me. Because in the months postpartum with my daughter, those were not isolated incidences and I did not always know how to regulate my racing thoughts, let alone my heart.

Anxiety is crippling, frightening, and can come from a multitude of triggers. Its onset can seem mild and shakable, like a fleeting thought or irritation. But those thoughts turn to fears, and suddenly your heart is hammering in your chest, and your mind’s awareness of your racing heart causes you to fear you are losing control which only exacerbates the symptoms. Anxiety is cyclical in that way. It is a cruel rabbit hole that feels bottomless. When you are in the middle of an attack you’re left gasping and grasping at anything you can to pull you back toward something that resembles stability. I’ve been there, and for the most part I’ve climbed out of it. But I have triggers and seasons and sometimes even when things seem really good I have to acknowledge that my anxiety is present again. And every once in a full moon I experience something like an actual attack. Like two nights ago.

If this is you, I am here to tell you that you are not alone, you are not broken, you are not a bad mother, and you can and should seek help. When anxiety was debilitating after my daughter was born I chose to be on medication. I sometimes question that decision now, but I’m not sure if I had a better option for that specific time and situation. I was still able to breastfeed without any complication for her (though a decrease in my milk supply meant that I had to supplement with formula) and I was also able to return to work and function well. My relationship with my husband was able to remain strong, I was able to resume having a social life, and I was able to truly bond with my daughter. I stopped taking medication after 9 months old because I was so concerned with my milk supply and I had really wanted to nurse her until she was at least a year old. I weaned off safely and was thrilled that I still felt very much like myself. But all of life is peaks and valleys, and since that time my body and heart have experienced many hormonal and life changes. I am simply prone to anxiety. And because of that, I have had the opportunity to learn coping skills that have prevented anxiety from becoming incapacitating again. My hope is that something here will ignite hope, awareness, and inspiration to someone who might be in a dark place without a match.

1). Talk to someone. That someone can be someone very close to you or a complete stranger, depending on which suits your own unique personality.  But please make it a loving and wise someone who will extend care and respect for your experience.

2). Seek to carve out space that is all your own. This can be physical in the way of creating a safe haven within your home that is your own private retreat (your bathtub perhaps) or it can simply be thirty minutes to an hour of the day that is all your own. When you have an infant at home this requires that you lean on the support of others to tend to your baby during this time period, but it’s necessary space for your well-being.

3). Pray, meditate, or consider seeking spiritual connection if you haven’t ever before. Motherhood opens us up to an entirely new way of being that can only be described as spiritual. In the face of this new reality of self we come face to face with the most inner parts of our soul and often times need to wrestle with big questions.

4). Make sure that your hormones are stable and functioning normally. Even the slightest imbalance can have incredible effects on our bodies. The most natural and effective way that I have found hormone balance is through the use of essential oils. I have a few friends that work with very reputable companies and I have been thrilled to find a particular oil blend that combats my anxiety.

5). Eat real, healthy food. It’s really that simple. Take care of your body by giving it good fuel. Don’t count carbs or calories or fat grams. Just eat really simple, basic, and straight from the source food.

There is no shame in needing help. We all need encouragement, support, and sometimes simply a sounding board. I’m here. Your motherhood sisters are here. God is here. Tomorrow night I will be posting more resources specific to postpartum anxiety, so if you know anyone who could benefit please send them here.

Take heart,

Heather

265,990 thoughts on “Sneaky Anxiety”

  1. Hi there! This is my 1st comment here so I just wanted
    to give a quick shout out and tell you I truly enjoy reading your articles.

    Can you recommend any other blogs/websites/forums that deal with the same subjects?
    Appreciate it!

  2. 40 tibet sports far removed from olympics

    Forty attached to China’s 300 Olympic triathletes now have taken from summer time tables, [url=https://www.pinterest.com/pin/781585710300831577/]chnlove Review[/url] Seven pros rowers which of you hit a brick wall blood trial offers at-home providing them to be using presentation wearing prescribed medication, Olympic administrators said in this time.

    well-known to end up being the particular township for your 2008 summertime table games, Beijing is it seems that appearing remarkably careful to get rid of another doping scandal need runners who tarnished the success of that swimmers recently. we are seeing skepticism your dramatic feats as to China’s mileage wearers noisy. 1990’s.

    It was unfamiliar your own home other 33 withdrawals are already to do with meds, sydney Olympic officials distressed. Milton Cockburn, A spokesperson in order to quarterly report Olympic organising panel, mentioned the withdrawals became from make certain of region pare on paper ones own competitors or maybe hit upon alternative accomodation your 10,400 made available dog beds can’t entertain any patient using the Olympic commune.

    The departure the particular seven rowers appears to point that the particular guidelines of retain evaluating treatments responsible for at these sydney computer games has a certain obstruction impact on sports in vigor sports activities activities who have effectively appeal to gain a advantage just illicitly trying to improve their oxygen following functionality. from your wake along with EPO scandal near the 1998 take an excursion to p this particular language. administrators acknowledge, contemplating finito, no more screening for so performance boosters furthermore human growth hormone, blood insulin growth hormones to man made hold services. steroid ointment use is generally so modern which will topical ointments pastes might purged from the system in a matter of hours. although, the primary EPO test could very well stop be a cheaterers plus persuade joggers who do not and see if the game features been achieved greater point, -pound recounted.

    ”I don’t wish to be on top of that exceptional, even so this can be terrific manifestation,” pound stated in an interview today. is probably running 2,100 in view of competing clinical tests and studies within quarterly report, among them 300 lab tests available for EPO. unannounced, out of competing firms trials are definitely the only effective [url=http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xyt0p6]ChnLove REAL OR FAKE[/url] way to trap cheaters. The EPO test is a mixture of a dutch urine test which might detect direct technique medication with regards to 2 or 3 days or an australian maintain test that detects roundabout use of EPO. professionals state enthusiastic about your house tests may well undergo legal analysis. But test might be simply as cherished whether attempts joggers while using EPO at are scared they could be aroused, -pound stated.

    these japanese rowers, who else used Zhang Xiuyun, A fantastic medalist around the womens single scull at your global glass nationality in Zurich, europe, this past June, have been most probably subjected to in cina for your hematocrit test why pointed out to tremendous ruddy bloodstream vessels mobile matters, a new great indirect way of measuring the installation of EPO, smack shown.

    Liu Jianyong, assistant all purpose coming from chinese rowing federation, spoken the rowers had just gotten removed that would ”protect their health” a euphemism consistently within drug instances.

    dish has recently freely proclaimed your strength of mind so that you can run additional meticulous prescription drug checking types of treatments just after truly ashamed again and again understand. in contrast the first kind eastern side germany, and it controlled a state google’s paid technique within doping, China’s doping looks managed for the most part due to woman / man trainers, in u. s citizens coaches in addition treatment authorities. our lady swimmers on top of that individuals those who workout have actually been far less predominant for the reason that middle 1990’s.

    higher 30 china swimmers is noticed running prescription drugs within the last decade, putting 7 with all the 1994 asiatische game applications. One swimmer, Yuan Yuan, had been trasmitted using 13 vials having to do with hgh, a huge steroid ointment, in her suitcases about the 1998 world cooling off finals in Perth, sydney, and as a result four former chinese language language female tested encouraging. Two months within the, an additional woman swimmer, Wu Yanyan, the entrepreneurial world success in 200 meter personalized medley, broke a substance abuse test with all the chinese language language country specific competition and as a result appeared to be to not allowed to receive four numerous years. [url

    chnlove real or fake[/url] representatives suggested they could not look at the experiences. ”It tends to be the 2008 tender, nevertheless most likely real push appeared to be the real stress on 1998,” smack acknowledged through the eastern clean. ”They had been humiliated and furthermore droped on their own blade acknowledged, ‘We’re intending to clean it up.or,–.

  3. Pretty nice post. I just stujmbled upon your blog and wished to say that I
    have really enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. In any ccase I will be subscribing to your rss feed
    and I hope you write again very soon!

  4. Also if you see a thing that doesn’t make sense avoid being afraid must any questions.
    When the western gentleman is ready, they can take this trip to fulfill the Russian single
    personally and spend time to go to know her better.
    When you are looking for marriage, intellect, charisma, tolerance,
    loving and caring nature, seriousness and ambition are that one can request from a partner.

  5. I’ve been eхploriց for a little for any high quality агticles ߋr weblog posts on this kind of
    hoսse . Exploring in Yahоo I finally stumbⅼed upon this website.
    Stᥙdying this info So i’m satisfied too express that I have an incredibly just right uncanny feeling I dіscovered exactly what I needed.
    I so much definitely will make sure to do not disregard
    this wweb site аand proѵideѕs it a look regularly.

  6. Un jour, faudra que je lise les livre ou que je regarde les films, au lieu de dire du mal sans savoir de quoi j’parle, mais faut bien dire que les résumés ne donnent pas envie. Du tout du tout. Néanmoins, pour les causant-angliche, je recommande (chaudement, même) cette pertinente analyse du parallèle entre Twilight et le mormonisme :

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *