Sneaky Anxiety

I woke up two nights ago at a typical nurse back to sleep time for my son. I couple hear him starting to fuss a little and decided to bring him back into bed with me over trying to stay awake enough to put him back to sleep in his own bed. I snuggled him in under my arm, his knees curled into my belly in a puzzle fitting of bodies that we have been perfecting for 7 months now. I started to drift off to sleep but every time I did I would wake up suddenly with a racing heart. It was similar to having the falling dream and waking in a panic only I wasn’t asleep enough to dream. This happened about five or six times until I realized that I was in a cold sweat, the room was spinning and my heart was racing. It had been years but I knew what I was experiencing. An anxiety attack. I sat up suddenly I instructed my husband to please soothe our son as I placed my head between my knees and breathed. I was angry. Why was this happening? I wasn’t any more stressed than usual. I wasn’t feeling particularly smothered, tapped out or out of control. My postpartum experience this time around had been so wonderful and IN control. And then it dawned on me. My period. I had just started my period for the first time since pre-pregnancy. My hormones were changing and my body was struggling to keep up. Knowing there was a reason for the anxiety attack, my body seemed to relax almost as soon as I made the connection. When I felt strong enough to stand up I did a quick walk around the house, got some water, inhaled my favorite balancing essential oil, changed into cooler, looser pajamas and cracked the window. Then I climbed back into bed ready to reassume cuddling and nursing with my son until we both drifted off to sleep. In the morning I was able to briefly address what had happened with my husband and we shrugged it off as an isolated event. But it really stayed with me. Because in the months postpartum with my daughter, those were not isolated incidences and I did not always know how to regulate my racing thoughts, let alone my heart.

Anxiety is crippling, frightening, and can come from a multitude of triggers. Its onset can seem mild and shakable, like a fleeting thought or irritation. But those thoughts turn to fears, and suddenly your heart is hammering in your chest, and your mind’s awareness of your racing heart causes you to fear you are losing control which only exacerbates the symptoms. Anxiety is cyclical in that way. It is a cruel rabbit hole that feels bottomless. When you are in the middle of an attack you’re left gasping and grasping at anything you can to pull you back toward something that resembles stability. I’ve been there, and for the most part I’ve climbed out of it. But I have triggers and seasons and sometimes even when things seem really good I have to acknowledge that my anxiety is present again. And every once in a full moon I experience something like an actual attack. Like two nights ago.

If this is you, I am here to tell you that you are not alone, you are not broken, you are not a bad mother, and you can and should seek help. When anxiety was debilitating after my daughter was born I chose to be on medication. I sometimes question that decision now, but I’m not sure if I had a better option for that specific time and situation. I was still able to breastfeed without any complication for her (though a decrease in my milk supply meant that I had to supplement with formula) and I was also able to return to work and function well. My relationship with my husband was able to remain strong, I was able to resume having a social life, and I was able to truly bond with my daughter. I stopped taking medication after 9 months old because I was so concerned with my milk supply and I had really wanted to nurse her until she was at least a year old. I weaned off safely and was thrilled that I still felt very much like myself. But all of life is peaks and valleys, and since that time my body and heart have experienced many hormonal and life changes. I am simply prone to anxiety. And because of that, I have had the opportunity to learn coping skills that have prevented anxiety from becoming incapacitating again. My hope is that something here will ignite hope, awareness, and inspiration to someone who might be in a dark place without a match.

1). Talk to someone. That someone can be someone very close to you or a complete stranger, depending on which suits your own unique personality.  But please make it a loving and wise someone who will extend care and respect for your experience.

2). Seek to carve out space that is all your own. This can be physical in the way of creating a safe haven within your home that is your own private retreat (your bathtub perhaps) or it can simply be thirty minutes to an hour of the day that is all your own. When you have an infant at home this requires that you lean on the support of others to tend to your baby during this time period, but it’s necessary space for your well-being.

3). Pray, meditate, or consider seeking spiritual connection if you haven’t ever before. Motherhood opens us up to an entirely new way of being that can only be described as spiritual. In the face of this new reality of self we come face to face with the most inner parts of our soul and often times need to wrestle with big questions.

4). Make sure that your hormones are stable and functioning normally. Even the slightest imbalance can have incredible effects on our bodies. The most natural and effective way that I have found hormone balance is through the use of essential oils. I have a few friends that work with very reputable companies and I have been thrilled to find a particular oil blend that combats my anxiety.

5). Eat real, healthy food. It’s really that simple. Take care of your body by giving it good fuel. Don’t count carbs or calories or fat grams. Just eat really simple, basic, and straight from the source food.

There is no shame in needing help. We all need encouragement, support, and sometimes simply a sounding board. I’m here. Your motherhood sisters are here. God is here. Tomorrow night I will be posting more resources specific to postpartum anxiety, so if you know anyone who could benefit please send them here.

Take heart,

Heather

229,824 thoughts on “Sneaky Anxiety”

  1. Kath & Matt added on a $20K porch to their little Charlottesville house. Though I do not know who unearthed the dollar figure…anyone?And all I can say on your overbaked little one 😉 ….good luck and I hope your birth is wonderfully uneventful. Best wishes!

  2. Can I just say what a reduction to find someone who actually knows what theyre speaking about on the internet. You positively know learn how to carry a difficulty to light and make it important. Extra people must learn this and perceive this side of the story. I cant imagine youre not more common since you undoubtedly have the gift.

  3. Greate article. Keep writing such kind of info on your site.
    Im really impressed by it.
    Hello there, You’ve performed an incredible job. I will definitely digg it and personally suggest
    to my friends. I’m sure they will be benefited from this site.

  4. Diabetes iѕ on thhe rise worldwide aⅼong with many aspects of thhe ѡorld іt іs at epidemic proportions.
    Βecause of nerve damage causing lack οf sensation witһin the legs, аnd so the patient will not degect tһe injury, swelling аnd pain iin the leg wound infection maү be severe.
    Aѕ a diabetic, it can be noot usefսl too you to consume only twice or thrice daily, for such meal іs frequently
    heavy.

  5. Get to know the Initial Coin Providing. Info about this preliminary
    public coin providing taken from their whitepaper. An actual world corollary
    could be an arcade that pre-sells tokens, using the funds to purchase the entire finest video games, and then opening its doorways to its pre-bought community.
    That is the important story behind the Filecoin ICO, which
    raised a whole lot of hundreds of thousands of dollars in a presale to
    among the biggest investors in Silicon Valley. When an ICO is being held, the startup
    raises in a short time frame capital to further develop their product, platform or service, and in change gives tokens to the participators.

    This is a good indicator that, no matter its undervalued worth now,
    as soon as the market begins to realize simply how necessary
    the coin is, then it is probably that the cryptocurrency will see
    an eventual improve in its value. The backers of the former are motivated by a return of their
    investments, while the funds raised within the latter marketing campaign are principally donations.

    The amount of cash that some of the biggest ICOs have raised
    is dizzying. It’s true that some ICO’s are topic to securities regulations
    and are IPOs itself, and different Token Sales are out of the scope of monetary
    regulation, being just a presale of a product or service (appcoins or entry tokens).

    Ethereum raised a bit of over $18 million in early 2014 — the most important ICO ever completed at that time.
    To money out your funding, you’ll need to promote on your tokens.
    One of many first ICOs to make a big splash occurred in Could 2016 with the Decentralized Autonomous Group—aka, the DAO—which was basically a decentralized venture fund constructed on Ethereum.

    The newly issued coins are not limited to being traded within the change for companies within a given platform however may be also traded on the market around the world.

    Many individuals see the Ethereum challenge
    as being useful, as a result of the challenge has produced some very attention-grabbing dapps that try and solve
    certain issues, corresponding to TenX with cryptocurrency spending, or EtherTweet with a censorship resistant social media platform.
    You might spend $one hundred on an organization’s tokens throughout an ICO,
    solely to observe the corporate fizzle and
    die before they release a real product. Other blockchain platforms like Kin Kik Messenger’s New Cryptocurrency Kin, And What It
    Means for Teens and Children Kik Messenger’s New Cryptocurrency Kin, And What
    It Means for Teenagers and Kids One company is
    trying to convey cryptocurrency to younger folks.

    Oh, and tokens aren’t just stand-ins for inventory—they can be set up so that as
    an alternative of a share of an organization, holders get companies, like
    cloud cupboard space, for instance. The capital markets of Wall Avenue have lengthy been the path
    that corporations have taken to lift cash and reward the buyers and
    creators of these companies with fairness or debt offerings.

    Most shares in Australia have to be offered to investors using a
    prospectus If there isn’t a prospectus for a token supplied below an ICO,
    it’s probably not giving traders the identical rights as a share or it could be operating illegally in Australia.

    When it comes to the numbers, ICOs have raised US$327m
    to date by means of fund elevating, compared with US$295m raised by
    venture capitalists representing blockchain start ups, VCs falling behind this yr for the primary
    time because the numbers of ICOs continue to extend.
    The Initial Coin Offering bubble is a big deal, so in case you
    are planning to run an ICO within the upcoming future, here are some key things to
    think about, to make it a profitable sale. Buyers must open a real money account to participate within the ICO.

    Most people cannot easily take part in an IPO in the United States for example, however by
    conducting an ICO fundraiser on the blockchain, folks from all over the world can take part, and buy in on the similar worth, quite than queueing
    behind influential people and investment banks.
    This creates an fascinating dynamic, the place the
    buyers or platform customers are incentivized to bring new users to develop the platform,
    which ought to result in greater adoption for the cash,
    and more likely to a better worth.

    It is up to individual buyers to spot ICO scams and
    shield their investments. BitCoin used to personal the overwhelming majority
    of the market cap in cryptocurrencies. Subsequently, should you invest in an ICO from Coinbase, your ICO tokens will circulation into the complete Coinbase system versus your private storage.
    Mastercoin’s ICO in 2013 raised over $5 million in Bitcoins via the sales of
    their very own Mastercoin tokens. An ICO, or preliminary coin offering (or typically an ITO or an initial token providing)
    is a comparatively new – and not too long ago a
    lot talked about – fundraising method.

    Finally, you’ll have to select a currency with which you’ll
    fund the ICO (most accept both Bitcoin or Ethereum, but you will have to double verify).
    He worked with extremely regulated industries in Brazil and
    US, including government places of work and worldwide logistic
    corporations, architecting server infrastructure and full-stack projects.
    An initial coin providing (ICO) is a brand new type of funding,
    used by a business or particular person to raise funds from numerous varieties of
    investors through the web.

    Most ICOs right now are marketed as ‘software program presale tokens’ akin to giving early access to
    a web-based game to early supporters. Those that end
    in a brand new cryptocurrency have their own blockchains onto which the
    venture developers move the tokens after launch. Earlier this
    12 months, nevertheless, the US Securities Change Commission made its place clear that certain cash and tokens
    can amount to a safety and, subsequently, be subject to the remit of the present fundraising framework for US IPOs.
    Traders are motivated to purchase tokens as a profitable venture may imply the skyrocketing of the value of the cash
    that was initially purchased.

  6. Excellent blog! Do you have any recommendations for aspiring writers? I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you advise starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that I’m completely overwhelmed .. Any ideas? Cheers!

  7. – Hi Lindsay…You don’t know me…but I check your blog almost everyday to see your beautiful pictures! Just wanted to say that I am sorry to hear that you are having trouble with your eyes. I am hoping and praying that you will be able to continue bringing a smile to all of our faces through your beautiful work!April 24, 2009 – 11:52 am

  8. Amazing blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere?
    A design like yours with a few simple adjustements would really make
    my blog stand out. Please let me know where you got your theme.
    Appreciate it

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *