Sneaky Anxiety

I woke up two nights ago at a typical nurse back to sleep time for my son. I couple hear him starting to fuss a little and decided to bring him back into bed with me over trying to stay awake enough to put him back to sleep in his own bed. I snuggled him in under my arm, his knees curled into my belly in a puzzle fitting of bodies that we have been perfecting for 7 months now. I started to drift off to sleep but every time I did I would wake up suddenly with a racing heart. It was similar to having the falling dream and waking in a panic only I wasn’t asleep enough to dream. This happened about five or six times until I realized that I was in a cold sweat, the room was spinning and my heart was racing. It had been years but I knew what I was experiencing. An anxiety attack. I sat up suddenly I instructed my husband to please soothe our son as I placed my head between my knees and breathed. I was angry. Why was this happening? I wasn’t any more stressed than usual. I wasn’t feeling particularly smothered, tapped out or out of control. My postpartum experience this time around had been so wonderful and IN control. And then it dawned on me. My period. I had just started my period for the first time since pre-pregnancy. My hormones were changing and my body was struggling to keep up. Knowing there was a reason for the anxiety attack, my body seemed to relax almost as soon as I made the connection. When I felt strong enough to stand up I did a quick walk around the house, got some water, inhaled my favorite balancing essential oil, changed into cooler, looser pajamas and cracked the window. Then I climbed back into bed ready to reassume cuddling and nursing with my son until we both drifted off to sleep. In the morning I was able to briefly address what had happened with my husband and we shrugged it off as an isolated event. But it really stayed with me. Because in the months postpartum with my daughter, those were not isolated incidences and I did not always know how to regulate my racing thoughts, let alone my heart.

Anxiety is crippling, frightening, and can come from a multitude of triggers. Its onset can seem mild and shakable, like a fleeting thought or irritation. But those thoughts turn to fears, and suddenly your heart is hammering in your chest, and your mind’s awareness of your racing heart causes you to fear you are losing control which only exacerbates the symptoms. Anxiety is cyclical in that way. It is a cruel rabbit hole that feels bottomless. When you are in the middle of an attack you’re left gasping and grasping at anything you can to pull you back toward something that resembles stability. I’ve been there, and for the most part I’ve climbed out of it. But I have triggers and seasons and sometimes even when things seem really good I have to acknowledge that my anxiety is present again. And every once in a full moon I experience something like an actual attack. Like two nights ago.

If this is you, I am here to tell you that you are not alone, you are not broken, you are not a bad mother, and you can and should seek help. When anxiety was debilitating after my daughter was born I chose to be on medication. I sometimes question that decision now, but I’m not sure if I had a better option for that specific time and situation. I was still able to breastfeed without any complication for her (though a decrease in my milk supply meant that I had to supplement with formula) and I was also able to return to work and function well. My relationship with my husband was able to remain strong, I was able to resume having a social life, and I was able to truly bond with my daughter. I stopped taking medication after 9 months old because I was so concerned with my milk supply and I had really wanted to nurse her until she was at least a year old. I weaned off safely and was thrilled that I still felt very much like myself. But all of life is peaks and valleys, and since that time my body and heart have experienced many hormonal and life changes. I am simply prone to anxiety. And because of that, I have had the opportunity to learn coping skills that have prevented anxiety from becoming incapacitating again. My hope is that something here will ignite hope, awareness, and inspiration to someone who might be in a dark place without a match.

1). Talk to someone. That someone can be someone very close to you or a complete stranger, depending on which suits your own unique personality.  But please make it a loving and wise someone who will extend care and respect for your experience.

2). Seek to carve out space that is all your own. This can be physical in the way of creating a safe haven within your home that is your own private retreat (your bathtub perhaps) or it can simply be thirty minutes to an hour of the day that is all your own. When you have an infant at home this requires that you lean on the support of others to tend to your baby during this time period, but it’s necessary space for your well-being.

3). Pray, meditate, or consider seeking spiritual connection if you haven’t ever before. Motherhood opens us up to an entirely new way of being that can only be described as spiritual. In the face of this new reality of self we come face to face with the most inner parts of our soul and often times need to wrestle with big questions.

4). Make sure that your hormones are stable and functioning normally. Even the slightest imbalance can have incredible effects on our bodies. The most natural and effective way that I have found hormone balance is through the use of essential oils. I have a few friends that work with very reputable companies and I have been thrilled to find a particular oil blend that combats my anxiety.

5). Eat real, healthy food. It’s really that simple. Take care of your body by giving it good fuel. Don’t count carbs or calories or fat grams. Just eat really simple, basic, and straight from the source food.

There is no shame in needing help. We all need encouragement, support, and sometimes simply a sounding board. I’m here. Your motherhood sisters are here. God is here. Tomorrow night I will be posting more resources specific to postpartum anxiety, so if you know anyone who could benefit please send them here.

Take heart,

Heather

265,993 thoughts on “Sneaky Anxiety”

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  5. Auto calculations of Exemptions & Deductions and compute earnings tax payable for your complete year & the tax to be
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    that quantity as a tds or visa – versa. My employer deducted Rs.

    15126/- as TDS and it is proven in form-sixteen also however when i checked kind 26AS is exhibits that only
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    direction of my Earnings tax legal responsibility for
    F.Y. 2013-14. I introduced it to the discover of the employer however they’re reluctant and have not deposited the stability quantity to this point.
    Relating to conversion of accounts, I guess all saving financial institution accounts
    are robotically thought of as NRO account after you allow India, thought I am not 100%
    positive on this.

    He repeatedly seems on common private finance reveals
    and writes for main monetary dailies. If not, an assessee might be charged
    curiosity for not paying TDS on time. Just lately, a senior citizen received a notice from the Revenue Tax
    Department, asking her to pay Rs 30,000, the tax on her financial institution mounted
    deposits for evaluation yr 2013-14, together with curiosity, for late
    payment of tax. What had occurred was the financial institution had deducted TDS after the
    tip of the financial 12 months, owing to which she
    did not get the tax credit for the earlier 12 months.

    There are several cases of taxpayers getting notices from
    the I-T department for no fault of theirs.

    The form is out there along with your banker, the native Income Tax office
    and could be downloaded from the website This form must
    be filed before the interest begins to accrue within the fixed deposit
    account, because the declaration has no retrospective effect.
    Curiosity on mounted deposit is covered under the TDS mechanism and, hence, the financial institution has to deduct tax from interest and has to pay the net interest to Mr.

    Raja. The TDS of Rs. 84,000 will be paid by the financial institution to the Government and Rs.
    84,000 will likely be treated as pay as you go tax of Mr. Raja and he can claim tax
    credit of Rs. 84,000 just like advance tax on the time of
    submitting his return of income.

    If PAN of the deductee is not intimated to the deductor, tax will
    probably be deducted at supply by advantage of part 206AA
    both on the charge given in the table or at the charge or rates in pressure or at the fee of 20 per cent, whichever
    is increased. Additional, underneath part 94A(5), if fee
    or credit score is made or given to a deductee
    who is located in a notified jurisdictional area, tax is deductible at the
    price given in the desk or on the price of 30
    per cent, whichever is higher. A. cost/credit to an individual or
    a Hindu undivided family. B. cost/credit score to any
    individual other than a person or a Hindu undivided household.

    Not being royalty of the character referred to above,
    payable by Government or an Indian concern in pursuance of an settlement made by non-resident with the Authorities or the Indian concern and the
    place such agreement is with an Indian concern, the settlement is approved by
    the Central Authorities or the place it pertains
    to matter included within the industrial coverage, the settlement is in accordance with that
    coverage. Fees for technical services payable by Government or an Indian concern in pursuance of an settlement made by non-resident with
    the Authorities or the Indian concern and the place
    such agreement is with an Indian concern, the settlement is accepted by the Central
    Government or the place it relates to matter included in the industrial coverage, the settlement
    is in accordance with that policy.

    Kind No. 15G is for the individual or an individual (apart from
    firm or agency) and Type No. 15H is for the senior residents.
    A) A resident individual who is in receipt
    of earnings as referred to in 192A, 194 or 194EE if the amount of such
    income doesn’t exceed the maximum quantity which is not chargeable
    to earnings-tax. B) Any particular person (apart from a company
    or a agency) who’s in receipt of income as referred
    to in section 193, 194A, 194DA or 194-I if the amount of such earnings
    doesn’t exceed the maximum quantity which isn’t chargeable to income-tax.
    Alternatively, a payee who is in receipt of earnings referred
    to in part 192, 193, 194, 194A, 194C, 194D, 194G, 194H, 194-I,
    194J, 194LA, 194LBB, 194LBC, or 195 can apply in Type No.
    thirteen to the assessing officer to get a certificate authorizing the payer to
    deduct tax at decrease rate or deduct no tax as could also be
    applicable.

    On receiving such an application, the AO could situation appropriate certificate on this regard if he is glad that the entire earnings of
    the payee justifies the deduction of revenue-tax at any decrease
    charge or nil deduction of income tax. As per Income-tax (Ninth Amendment) Guidelines, 2014, Certificates for non-deduction of earnings-tax shall be issued on to
    the particular person liable for deducting the tax under an advice to the payee (i.e.
    who made an utility for subject of such certificates).Whereas,
    certificates of decrease deduction of income-tax shall
    be issued to payee itself. If AO has issued certificate for no
    deduction of tax or decrease deduction of tax, as the case could also be,
    then payer ought to deduct tax accordingly.

    If there’s any discrepancy in the tax truly deducted and the tax credit
    being reflected in Kind 26AS then it’s best to intimate the
    same to the deductor and will reconcile the difference.
    Sure, Finance Act, 2013 has introduced section 194-IA which gives for deduction of tax at supply in case of fee of sale
    consideration of immovable property (other than rural agricultural land) to a resident.
    Thus, in case of buy of property from non-resident TDS provisions of section 195 will apply and never of section 194-IA.
    PAN stands for Permanent Account Quantity and TAN stands for Tax
    Deduction Account Number. PAN cannot be used for TAN, therefore, the deductor has to obtain TAN, even when he holds PAN.

    Though a contract is entered with him, he’s rendering
    skilled companies only and therefore it is subjected
    to TDS u/s 194J. TDS on reimbursement isn’t required to be made if separate payments
    are raised one is for professional price
    and the other is for reimbursement of expenditure.
    If a single invoice is raised for the professional payment inclusive of reimbursement of expenditure, in such a case TDS is to be made on gross amount.
    However ITAT in the above resolution it was held that
    reimbursement of bills for which invoice is separately
    raised didn’t attract the provisions of section 194J, the above
    circular attracts only in case invoice is raised inclusive of reimbursement of expenditure.

    Even the curiosity payments doesn’t appeal to TDS provisions, therefore there isn’t a question of
    TDS in case of capitalization of interest on mortgage as loan. So the legal responsibility to deduct TDS arises at the time of
    credit or cost, the place because the conversion of curiosity out standing into mortgage arises after a protracted interval from the time
    interest legal responsibility turns into due for payment.
    Therefore the liability to deduct TDS arises solely on the time the interest turns into due
    however not at the time of conversion of interest excellent into loan. I’ve deducted tax from funds disbursed but used the identical for some pressing monetary wants.
    It ought to have been remitted to authorities account inside the specified time
    restrict.

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    The duty in any case is on the Assessee; whether
    or not Deductor collects, fails to pay to Government,
    makes errors in PAN or doesn’t file the TDS Return or makes
    errors within the amount of TDS. Will the Division contemplate
    this or be proud of folks like Vijay Mallaya who collected and not remitted
    and harassing the workers to pay again and sincere poor residents at the
    mercy of careless Financial institution emloyees whose errors lead to all the
    problems of assessees and thereby Government gets additional income.
    Final financial yr I checked that none of my payslips have
    the earnings tax deduction talked about in it.
    I observed this when I noticed my Kind 16s I modified my
    company final October, hence have two Type 16s.

    Now I request you to information the way to proceed with
    this case as defined above as IT division has started deducting /not paying my refund and adjusting the identical in opposition to so
    claimed outstanding…..Your beneficial inputs might be appreciated.
    Please let me understanding in case any further details are sought from my end to facilitate your quick and valuable
    response. TDS @ 20% to be deducted if the payee shouldn’t be having PAN or not keen to share PAN (in case
    of resident). TDS provisions are applicable on the premise that vendor
    account being credited or cost made whichever is earlier.
    The TDS shall be deducted from the payment to be made to the Bank
    if it exceeds Rs. 50,00,000/-.

    The irony is that, the Bank just isn’t entitled to say this TDS credit in the Annual Income
    Tax Return. I am a university worker within the state of PF have been beeng deposited.
    I am working with pharma firm, whether we have now to pay excise duty on RM samples , which
    is for High quality control samples , for instance 100 kgs received 10gm utilizing
    for testing. Though I’m not eligible to pay TDS as per my
    salary slab, certainly one of my colleague advised that this amount will be reimbursed from Revenue Tax.
    TDS on the quantity you might be paying; say the quantity it’s
    a must to pay by cheque however topic to deduction of TDS, so
    you’re duducting the TDS and paying the web amount/balance
    quantity.

    Tax must be deducted on the time of fee in cash or cheque or credit to the payee’s
    account. It acts as a strong instrument to prevent tax evasion as well as expands the tax net.
    As mentioned earlier TDS is a sure percentage deducted on the time of funds of various sort resembling salary,
    commission, rent, curiosity on dividends etc. The assorted
    funds for which TDS is deducted, Threshold restrict (above which TDS is deducted),
    the rate at which it is deducted for Resident Particular person or Hindu Undivided Family(HUF),
    Home Company or Agency with applicable Income Tax Section Code and links to
    the Revenue Tax legislation from VakilNo1 web site are given under.

    It’s compulsory to cite TAN in TDS/TCS return (including any e-TDS/TCS return),
    any TDS/TCS payment challan and TDS/TCS certificates. Failure to use for TAN or comply with any of
    the other provisions of the section attracts a penalty of Rs.
    10,000/-. Fourth digit is the first character of the deductor identify
    ex: R could also be Royal Travels. Tax Information Network (TIN) is an initiative by Earnings Tax Division of India (ITD) for the modernization of
    the current system for assortment, processing, monitoring and accounting of direct taxes
    utilizing data technology. One can discover details about Deductor
    or TAN from : Know Your TAN.

    Under Part 199 of Revenue Tax Law 1961, when tax has been deducted at supply from any fee of revenue receivable,
    credit score will likely be given to the Deductee whereas
    calculating the online tax payable by him and the TDS shall be handled as a
    cost of tax on his behalf to the Central Government by the payer or Deductor who
    has deducted the tax at source. A tax deductor is required to problem
    TDS certificate to the Deductee inside specified timed beneath part 203 of the
    Revenue Tax Act. The Deductee ought to produce the main points of this certificates to regulate the amount of TDS against the Tax payable
    him, in the course of the regular assessment of revenue tax.

    ANNEX 9.1 DEDUCTION OF TAX AT SOURCE – NON-DEDUCTION IN SURE CASES –
    SIMPLIFICATION OF PROCEDURE FOR KIND NOS.
    ANNEX 10.1 DEDUCTION OF TAX AT SUPPLY – NON-DEDUCTION IN CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES –
    SIMPLIFICATION OF PROCEDURE FOR FORM NOS. Deduction of
    tax at source from payments qua deposits under NSS.
    ANNEX eleven.1 DEDUCTION OF TAX AT SOURCE – NON-DEDUCTION IN SURE CIRCUMSTANCES – SIMPLIFICATION OF PROCEDURE FOR TYPE NOS.

    Deduction of tax at supply from payments on account of repurchase of models by mutual funds or items by
    UTI. Deduction of tax at source from commission or brokerage payments.
    ANNEX 14.four EXEMPTION UNDERNEATH SECTION 197A(1F) TO
    SPECIFIED INCOME IN CASE OF BANKS.

    Deduction of Tax at Source from Payments to Non-Residents.
    ANNEX 22.four DEDUCTION OF TAX AT SOURCE BELOW PART 195 LEARN
    WITH SECTION 201 RELATING TO FEE MADE TO A NON-RESIDENT.
    ANNEX 22.7 COST OF CURIOSITY ON REFUND UNDERNEATH SECTION 244A OF EXCESS TDS DEPOSITED
    UNDERNEATH SECTION 195. Deduction of tax
    at source from income in respect of models of non-residents.
    Deduction of tax at supply on revenue from foreign foreign money bond or international depository receipts of Indian firm.
    ANNEX 27.three AMENDMENTS MADE IN SECTION 206C BY FINANCE ACT, 2016.
    SumHR will robotically generate and update Tax slabs in your account, even earlier than you realize it.
    Our consultants will consistently be on the lookout for any coverage/statutory modifications introduced by the government.

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