No Shame

 

IMG_3726 (1)

I think we all begin our motherhood journey with an idea of what will define our parenting. At least I did. Either that, or something snatches your attention and your heart along the way and you think to yourself, “yes! I like that!” This absolutely happened for me, and it happened though a beautiful book called Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne. When I became a mother I knew that I wanted the kind of childhood for my babies that I had. Lots of outdoor time, family trips to the beach and to Eastern Oregon, siblings to play with, and slow easy summers. And Disneyland! Let us never forget Disneyland. But somewhere along the way I started to read about an old, intentional, slow kind of child-rearing. About not beginning formal education until a child is seven, starting every day with at least an hour of outdoor play time, singing and crafting your way through the day, and fairy tale magic. I got turned on to Waldorf education. And immediately I was mesmerized by the images of these woolen clad, rosy cheeked children playing peacefully with wooden toys and prancing with play silks through meadows. “That!” I thought. “That is how I want my children to grow up”. So I bought the play silks. And then when my daughter was old enough I bought white silks so we could dye them ourselves. And I bought her a wooden doll cradle and a little stuffed Waldorf doll and went for the wooden play kitchen instead of the plastic one. We read sweet, gentle stories and picked apples and made jam. And some of that…SOME of that…was absolutely wonderful. We still do a lot of those things. But time and time again I felt like a phony mom trying to live some lifestyle that wasn’t really me.  When I was pregnant with our son I started off the baby registry with only the most simply wooden toys, all organic clothing and linens, and none of the extra “stuff”. And then I started remembering back four years prior to having my daughter as an infant…and things like pacifiers and musical mobiles and a vibrating bouncy chair snuck their way in. And before I knew it, we were ready for baby boy with a lot of natural, organic, beautiful baby items in his nursery…and some really convenient plastic things too.  And this is how I have tried to parent, with each hand in a seemingly opposing stream of parenting not feeling like I was genuinely anything.

Fast forward to last week. The beginning of my four days long turmoil that ended in an epiphany about 2.5 seconds before I started writing this post. Thursday of last week I was 99% certain that we would be sending our daughter to a local kindergarten through 6th grade Waldorf School. The “day in the kindergarten” experience that we had attended was absolutely wonderful and my daughter had not stopped talking about how excited she was to go to that school. Despite the relatively long drive and private school tuition, the whole thing felt good. Not perfect, but good. And then I had our intake interview. I knew all the questions to expect. What was our daughter’s birth like? How is her temperament? Has she been exposed to media? Does she participate in any extracurricular activities? I can tell you that the last two questions are posed with a specific answer in mind. The Waldorf way is specific and intentional and doesn’t just involve the child’s life at school. This sweet kindergarten teacher wanted me to say “no, our daughter does not watch tv or movies”. But I didn’t say “no”. I answered honestly. Yes, we have parented our children with exposure to tv and movies and the occasional game on a tablet or laptop. We have all been to Disneyland as a family and we don’t think that Disney is the equivalent of The Devil. And yes, our 5 year old has taken swim lessons, dance, and gymnastics. She does not live the perfect Waldorf home life, and up until that very moment I had been very comfortable with that. But as I said “yes” to the media question, I watched the woman visibly cringe and I simultaneously felt myself shrink. Yep. You heard that right. I allowed her to shame me. The rest of the interview was rushed and blurred because a certain 1 year old had just about had it with not having Mama’s undivided attention, so we scheduled a time for me to come back with fill out paperwork with the admonition that “there is a media free policy at the school as long as she is in attendance”. I drove home stewing. I cleaned the house and did my workout and put my babies to bed and did all of my normal stuff….stewing. Here’s the thing. If I was convicted that watching a little tv here and there was seriously detrimental to my daughter I would have taken it away already. But that’s just not my conviction. It might be yours, and I embrace and applaud that. You might also think that cloth diapering is a complete waste of time, or that Popcicles are going to rot your kids’ teeth. (They might…we just brush really well after.) The point is, my husband and I have been very sure to parent based on education and conviction about what is best for our children as individuals. So if we had decided together that our daughter attending this school was absolutely worth some sacrifices, the one thing that I could not sacrifice was my dignity. Because I am a good mom. And nothing is worth me sending my little girl to a school that will be expecting our family to fit a perfect mold so that every time we walk through that gate I have to pretend to be something that I’m not. You and I are all products of our choices and our convictions, but chances are there are too many things that you care deeply enough about to make it all work the way you want it. I’m right there with you. There are a lot of things that I want for my kids that don’t get to happen because other priorities are greater. Like this school. I adore Waldorf pedagogy. I think it is beautiful and artistic and brilliantly aligned with childhood development. But I don’t agree with all of its other tenants. And more than I love the idea of my kids going to Waldorf school, I love the idea of them going to a fantastic public school where the message will be that everyone belongs and everyone is accepted.

God didn’t give my children to a mom who loves to bake. He didn’t send their beautiful souls to a seamstress, a mathematician, or to a morning person. He did send them to a woman who is learning to be brave but will fight tooth and nail to make sure that they feel honored and accepted. He sent them to a mom who loves toys more than they do, adores Disney, and despite being an otherwise horrible baker can actually produce a perfect chocolate chip cookie… and then run it off later with joy. When I texted my husband earlier that I had stumbled upon this “ah ha” moment, I simply said “If God wanted the kids to go to Waldorf school and be raised in the way that entails, then He would have sent them to a Waldorf family”. His response was absolutely perfect. “Yep, and we’re the best parents that we can be. And I’m damn proud of the parents that we are.” I am too, My Love.

The shame that I allowed that teacher to put on me is gone. I’m just a normal mom, doing the best I can with the greatest job I’ll ever do. So are you. And we’re doing a pretty damn good job.

 

353,445 thoughts on “No Shame”

  1. Microsoft has agreed to pay a total of 440 million, first to Novell and then with a recently renewed 100 million deal with Attachmate, to buy and resell SUSE subscriptions.Y aclaró que “no es necesario que en las próximas horas se realice una asamblea, ya que en el último encuentro la asamblea facultó a la Comisión Directiva y al Cuerpo de Delegados en estar en alerta y movilización, e incrementar las medidas de fuerza que crea conveniente.He seems to contribute trouble but at the end of the day, he is the one who save the day. [url=http://www.cheapaj5.com]cheap jordan 5[/url] Kumado made the call at the opening of a two-day Capacity Building workshop for members of Parliamentary Sub-Committee on Foreign Affairs (PSCFA) at Koforidua on Saturday.The cartel, which has the trappings of a mafia, is said to be behind some of the challenges the government is suffering in this regard, especially with TOR??s inability to raise Letters of Credit (LCs) from local banks because of over exposure.This form of cooking makes it deliciously crispy outside but retains the entire flavor inside without the greasy taste. [url=http://www.cheapajvii.com]jordan vii[/url] The nationwide survey, which was conducted last month with support from the UN Children??s Fund (UNICEF) and the World Health Organization (WHO), found no deaths from maternal and neonatal tetanus in the country, confirming that the disease no longer exists as a public health problem.3 in March.Since saliva is prevalent in the area of the lower incisors, these teeth are typically spared from the effects of this condition. [url=http://www.cheapallmichaeljordanshoes.com]all michael jordan shoes[/url] It is important to note that all gadgets have their own advantages and disadvantages.An analysis of the panel鈥檚 reapportionment plan by the Sun鈥檚 David McGrath Schwartz shows the Democrats would have an edge in two of the four Congressional Districts with one favoring Republicans and one a toss-up. [url=http://www.cheapaj13.com]cheap jordan 13[/url] The DVR recievers will allow you to record up to one-hundred hours of programming, while you are away at work or busy with something else.Besides price, Silver is just trendy and flexible.Make sure to keep yours updated in order to attract and retain repeat visitors. [url=http://www.cheapaj5.com]cheap jordan 5[/url]

  2. Hmm it appears like your blog ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I submitted and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I as well am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to everything. Do you have any tips for rookie blog writers? I’d genuinely appreciate it.

  3. Hmm is anyone else having problems with the pictures on this blog loading? I’m trying to determine if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

  4. オマケにMicrosoftのOfficeスタッフによるOfficeのデモもありましたねw。 <br>JavaScriptの設定を変更する方法は<a href="/help/jp/common/sys/sys-07.html">こちら</a>。 [url=http://www.ofisu2013.com/]microsoft office 安い[/url]
        ②ユーザがこのコンピューターを・・・となってる部分のチェックを     外します。 道路の方は“ぐしゃり”と溶けかかってるようなので、クルマの雪下ろしだけで済みました。
    [url=http://www.serialkeys.org/]office personal 2010 ダウンロード 版[/url] また、アプリケーション ライフサイクル管理をサポートした経験も必要です。 あーあ、導入したらなるべく8に近いようにレイアウトして使うしかない。
    [url=http://www.serialkeys.org/microsoft-office/office-professional-plus-2016]office2016 プロダクト キー[/url]
    本書全体を読んだ感想(山本):とても有益な情報が詰まっている。 拡張端子もMicro USB2.0、microSDカードスロットを備える。 [url=http://www.serialkeys.org/]office2010 personal 価格[/url]
    有効期限の切れたドライバーはコンピューターの破損につながり、またコンピューターの重要なファイルも削除されてしまいます。 マイクロソフトはオペレーティングシステムであるWindowsを開発し、インテルはそのためのチップを生み出した。
    [url=http://www.office2016jpjp.net/adobe-c-1.html]Acrobat 11ライセンス認証[/url] [コンテンツの有効化]つまり、攻撃を喰らうかどうかの運命は ユーザー自身の行動に託されて ます。 当社はMicrosoftの70-981資格の詳しい問題と解答を提供します。
    [url=http://www.office2016jpjp.net/officeprofessionalplus2013-c-2_17.html]office2013 ソフト[/url]

  5. I think what you wrote was actually very reasonable.
    However, think about this, what if you wrote a
    catchier title? I mean, I don’t wish to tell you how to run your blog, but what if you added something that makes people want more?
    I mean No Shame – Heather Mayer Spiritual
    Direction and Coaching is kinda boring. You could look at Yahoo’s
    front page and note how they create news titles to grab people to click.

    You might try adding a video or a related picture or two to get readers interested about what
    you’ve got to say. Just my opinion, it would make your blog a little livelier.

  6. 孙达2012 年 10 月 15 日游戏渠道:(梦宝谷版幻想精灵)区服:精灵之森账号:Sundam ID号:47828角色名:微笑的囧我的建议/想法:只有一个建议,对于特攻高成长的鬼系宠物,为什么设置的鬼系技能都是普攻技能,鬼系宝宝前期能抓到的本来就少,结果辛苦培育起来的死神竟然是鬼系普通技能。 建议修改鬼系技能为特攻技能,也符合最早宣传的宠物小精灵的特质,否则鬼系就真废了。

  7. scusa wonder, e tu allora piangi (x finta) così è contenta!! ;-)la mia, 25 mesi, mi urla dalla camera "mammaaaaaa vojoooooo beneeeeeeee" e io mi sciolgo, al decimo vojo bene sono al "pure io, ma se nn dormi subito ci ripenso" e lei "no ipensa mammaaaaa dommo guaddaaaa, vieni a guaddaaaaare come dommooooo!" diabolica.

  8. Os dirigentes quando tomam decisões devem usar o equilibrio como maior conselheiro para que todos remem na mesma direção, e a camisa azul foi uma péssima ideia, ou sera que eles não sabiam da rivalidade de galo e cruzeiro em Araxá, e que isso provocaria divisão, ou seja quem venham profissionais de verdade para que o marketing seja positivo e não negativo.

  9. B. 中央サイトの間に 新たな広域ネットワーク(WAN )リンクを展開します。 迷っているユーザーにたいしては、そのことをずばり指摘することがむしろ本当の親切だと思う。 [url=http://www.hiradon.com/1815/windows7_1/index.html]win7 アップグレード[/url]
    VISTAはkeyboardがこわれているから打てないし、やっぱり作業できるような状態じゃない。 昔ながらのソリティアやマインスイーパーをプレイし続けたいという人は、Windows 7のままのほうがよいというわけでしょうかね。
    [url=http://kenken.chu.jp/1815/office2016_1/index.html]office2016 メディア 購入[/url] Windowsの設定でアイコンや文字を拡大表示してるからなんだと結論づけて、ここからここ、それで出てくるこれを「大」以下に変更したら機動しました。 事実上、パソコンにインストールされているアプリを探すにはアプリビューを開くことになると思います。
    [url=http://turbosonic.net/1814/windows8_1_1/index.html]windows 8.1 ソフト[/url]
    たくさんのひとは弊社の商品を使って、試験に順調に合格しました。 .....タイミングを見て訂正記事が必要だと思っていた。 [url=http://www.hiradon.com/1815/windows7_1/index.html]windows8 1 ダウンロード[/url]
    2006年にはZuneのインタフェースがModernのデザインを利用したものとなり、マイクロソフトの設計者はメッキのようなアイコンを使ったUIよりも、簡潔なタイポグラフィに焦点をあわせることを決めた[3]。 指先で操作しやすいように、デバイスに応じてツールやメニューの表示サイズが変更されるので、タブレットのように画面が小さなデバイスで Office を使うときでも、指先でタップすれば手軽に編集できます。
    [url=http://turbosonic.net/1814/windows8_1_1/index.html]win 8.1 インストール[/url]  ただPS4 Proとの違いは,優劣で語るのではなく,「異なる設計思想の現れ」「コンセプトの違い」と捉えるべきだろう。 4:旧バージョンでの復元ポイントを作っておく 念には念を入れて、旧バージョンのWindowsに戻した時のトラブル対策として、復元ポイントを作成しておく。
    [url=http://www.hiradon.com/1815/windows7_1/index.html]win 7 インストール[/url]

  10. Emma the fact that you ended that incoherent rant with Yahoo gaining on Google took away whatever relevance your post had.The bottom line is that your opinion is one of many and most mean little. The new tlds will confuse and they also will be successful for many companies.If you don’t think .me is a success please state what you have done in your life that rivals the success of .me. Because you don’t like new extensions means little. They are coming and the net will be changed, what we as domainers think, means little.

  11. Unbroken without counting calories most overweight people glowve.ikgelukkig.amsterdam wear out in bread considerably fewer calories on lukewarm carb. Sugar and starch may gesturing your hankering, while avoiding them may cut-back your appetency to an scores level. If your task elamba.ikgelukkig.amsterdam wants to from an rhyme enfold of finished sprinkling of calories you don’t neediness to arse counting them.

  12. I’m really enjoying the theme/design of your weblog. Do you ever run into any web browser compatibility issues? A small number of my blog readers have complained about my site not working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Chrome. Do you have any advice to help fix this problem?

  13. sexxxxx videos sexxx sex vedio 2017 hd short black man .
    すべての http://fxxxme.com/ 投稿者
    xnxx mp4 videos full mom riding son quick creampie indian actor sunny leone sex vudeos bull dicker gets fuck hard faste time sax .
    check this my [url=http://fxxxme.com/]website[/url]
    www 89 com six video nicolette shea and keiran lee pathan booy to booy sex pron sexy hd vifeo bang bang xxx rapes sexy fingering with plowing indian bus touch sex .

  14. not the exploit code, just advisories, ive heard about 50 vulnerabilities are found in numerous programs every day and only 10% get patchedi just want to know if its vulnerable and a little more info on what exactly is, then i can debug it myself, im not interested in being a skiddie

  15. また,Microsoftは同イベントで,立体映像を投影可能なWindows 10対応の拡張現実型HMD「Microsoft HoloLens」(以下,HoloLens)も発表している。 ウィンドウズ10の更新を受けるか拒否するか、利用者は選ぶことができる」(英語記事 Microsoft accused of Windows 10 upgrade ‘nasty trick’)(c) BBC News。 [url=http://windows10kounyuu.blog.jp/]win 10 インストール[/url]
     この方法であればプレインストールソフトウェアが削除されている心配もなく、WindowsUP-Dateもシステムイメージを作成した時まで適用されていますし、色々なソフトウェアで必要な認証も済んでいます。 (c)AFP/Julie CHARPENTRAT ●●―国内―1-●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●● ● 言論の自由とは、嘘、捏造、報道をしない自由も含まれる。
    [url=http://www.ofisu2013.com/]produkey windows 7[/url] Windows 8.1向けのものが以下のところにある。 立て続けにPCビルドが更新されていくなか、久しぶりにMobileビルドが更新されました。
    [url=http://blog.goo.ne.jp/windows10-good/e/8eb69af17d915c142df167291bc01e25]windows 10 の インストール[/url]
     まぁ、WinOSのH/Wはそれぞれ違うからコレは結構難しいかもしれないが、 同じメーカーでも同一製品でない限り厳しいよね。 すべてのソフトウェゕは Microsoft Application Virtualization (APP-V )5.0 を使用して展開されています。 [url=http://www.serialkeys.org/]windows server 価格[/url]
    ⑥ PINを忘れてしまったときは・↑上記の「PINを忘れた場合」をクリックします。                   竹林の光の華  これがその作品です。
    [url=http://www.serialkeys.org/]windows server 購入[/url] 適切なツールを選択する限り、成功することは正に朝飯前のことです。 ただし、この表示を見ずに気づかないままアップグレードしてしまう人がいるのではないか、Tom’s Hardwareのマイケル・ジャスティンさんは指摘しています。
    [url=http://www.ofisu2013.com/]produkey windows 7[/url]

  16. Good post. I study one thing more challenging on completely different blogs everyday. It’ll all the time be stimulating to read content material from different writers and practice a little one thing from their store. I抎 choose to make use of some with the content on my weblog whether you don抰 mind. Natually I抣l offer you a link on your net blog. Thanks for sharing.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *