How Mama Got Her Groove Back and Became a Runner

When my daughter was 2 years old I was sick of being in a funk. I was about 20 pounds heavier than I wanted to be and nothing in my life felt like mine. I had recently become a full time mom after leaving my job as a children’s pastor and though I loved it and in some ways felt more freedom than I ever had (until then I had worked at least part time since I was 16) I also felt stifled. It’s really easy to feel trapped as a stay at home mom, whether you live in an apartment or a big old farmhouse with land! So I registered for a 5k running race. It wouldn’t be my first but it would be my first since becoming a mom. I was excited and glad to have something to train for and look forward to. I had no idea what it would become.

Something turned off in my brain after giving birth to my daughter. I had always been pretty driven, and at the very least busy. There had never been a season in my life where I was just doing one thing. When I was in high school I was also working and also volunteering and also in extra-curricular activities. Ditto with college. When Joel and I got married I was working and going to grad school and volunteering…yadda yadda yadda. Postpartum depression took away my ability to be a people-pleaser, which might have been a tremendous gift in the long run but that’s a topic for another day. It also took away my ability to fill my plate to overflowing. I pared. it. down. I had to. The anxiety of too many people depending on me was overwhelming, let alone the life of a tiny infant. So I had my family and I had my job, and that was good. And then I even said goodbye to my job, and that was good too. And then one day I realized that I was really starting to heal and could probably add something to my life again without insomnia and panic attacks. I am so glad that something was running.

It was this time two years ago that I ran that 5k. Helvetia. A lot of my friends were there too, running the 10k or the half marathon, and that’s when I felt it. That resurgence of the competitive me. The one whose inner voice says “I can do that, too” and actually goes for it. That me had been dormant for quite some time and I knew I NEEDED to grab hold before the fear sneaked back in. I went home from that race and registered for an August 10k and a last week of September half marathon. Now I don’t know if you’re a perfectionist like me, but if you are then you know that signing yourself up for a race means YOU HAVE TO TRAIN because YOU WILL NOT FAIL! 😉 I joke, but I’m actually serious. One of my biggest fears (character flaw alert) is looking dumb, so I knew that if I signed up for a race that I would be expecting myself to A) run the whole thing B) look and feel like a runner doing it C) enjoy the damn thing and D) not finish last. Were those reasonable expectations? Maybe a tad lofty but those were my goals nonetheless and they shaped the next 4 months in a big big way.

I planned out a training plan for the 10k and from there a second training plan for the half marathon. Training for the half marathon actually required my mileage to be greater than 6.5 miles by the date of my August race so I ran my first 10k under my training time by 4 minutes, didn’t slow on the uphills, and literally smiled the whole time. On the first day of my period. Heck-freaking-yes! And that was it. That high, that feeling of success and accomplishment was pivotal for my healing. Because I was broken after my daughter’s birth. Broken and sad and jealous and shamed. I felt disconnected from my body and was angry that it had failed me. Finishing that race strong in the same body that had undergone major surgery to deliver my daughter 2 years prior was the first step in physical redemption. And it felt amazing. This running this was a game changer and I was hooked.

By September, I knew that my body could do the work and run the 13 miles and change when the day came. But my mind…could I actually believe in myself enough to push through fatigue and pain? Could I run those miles alone with nobody there to cheer me on and still push it? It turns out, the answer to all of my questions was yes. When training meant that I missed my daughter’s bedtime or had to rise at the crack of dawn to get the miles in, I did it. When it meant having to take her along in the jogging stroller, I did it. When it was 90 degrees and my only option was an afternoon run, I did it. And when race day came with a misty rain falling the whole time and a nasty headwind from miles 7-10, I finished. I walked some. That didn’t really matter so much by that point. The work had been done and the result had already shaped and changed my heart. I had set a goal for myself and followed through. I was capable. I was strong. I was motivated and could take the steps necessary to see success. And that, dear friend, was a big deal.

For a lot of people, running is a fun group thing. You might train every weekend with friends and sign up for races together which is what I am starting to search for in this season of life. But I have discovered that despite my attempts to make that particular season of my running life a social one, it is quite pivotal that it wasn’t. The healing that took place that summer needed to be an individual and personal healing. I needed to be alone on those trails and on that track and on that treadmill. I needed those solo drives to the race site. God moved and worked and displayed grace upon grace in those hours and I think I would have missed it had I been wrapped up in chatter.

Running is one of the dearest things to me, even though I don’t go nearly as often as I would like. When I walk out the door and push the “start” button on my running app I become my best self. I become the me that knows both my weaknesses and strengths and accepts them lovingly. I become the me that is patient with myself and with others. The me who recognizes her need to space and decides that’s OK. And in the long months waiting to conceive my son, running reminded me that God made me strong and whole…talk about humbling. It is a friend that has seen me through and meets me right where I’m at.

What about you? What was or is or will be your conduit to healing? What is your escape from a life that doesn’t currently feel like your own? If you don’t have the answer to that then I urge you to find it. We weren’t designed to tread water. No. No, there is so much more to be had. So much more.


56,260 thoughts on “How Mama Got Her Groove Back and Became a Runner”

  1. hi!,I really like your writing very a lot! proportion we keep in touch more approximately your article on AOL? I need a specialist on this area to resolve my problem. Maybe that is you! Looking forward to look you.

  2. Howdy! This post couldn’t be written much better! Reading
    through this post reminds me of my previous roommate!
    He always kept talking about this. I am going to send this
    information to him. Fairly certain he’s going to have a very good
    read. Many thanks for sharing!

  3. My husband and i ended up being now fortunate when Peter could finish up his preliminary research with the precious recommendations he made using your web page. It’s not at all simplistic to just choose to be giving out helpful tips some others could have been making money from. Therefore we take into account we now have the blog owner to appreciate for that. The specific illustrations you have made, the easy website menu, the friendships you will help promote – it’s got everything unbelievable, and it is letting our son in addition to the family imagine that this issue is cool, and that’s highly important. Thanks for everything!

  4. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know
    a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something.
    I think that you could do with a few pics to drive the message home
    a little bit, but other than that, this is fantastic blog.

    A great read. I will certainly be back.

  5. Hello there, just became alert to your blog through Google, and found that it’s truly informative. I’m gonna watch out for brussels. I will appreciate if you continue this in future. A lot of people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

  6. An impressive share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a colleague who was doing a little homework on this.

    And he in fact ordered me dinner because I stumbled
    upon it for him… lol. So let me reword this….

    Thanks for the meal!! But yeah, thanks for spending time to
    talk about this matter here on your internet site.

  7. Youre so cool! I dont suppose Ive learn something like this before. So nice to find anyone with some authentic thoughts on this subject. realy thanks for starting this up. this website is something that is wanted on the net, someone with a bit of originality. useful job for bringing one thing new to the internet!

  8. Egzystujac w pelni viagra profesjonalnie sprawiajacym serwem usprawiedliwiajacym sie o przetestowane strategii czyny, ktore procz tego promujemy kolosalnym eksperiencja istniejemy w poziomie zaoferowac orzeczone plus w pelni zywe postepowania rehabilitacje postaci z zadaniami erekcyjnymi. Laknac zagwarantowac pelna dyskrecje krajowych uslug przedkladamy wsrod niepozostalymi oraz wsparcie mailowa. Niewiedzione lekami na potencje poprzez naszych fachmanow akcje odciazyly wczesniej wielce wielu osobnikom.

  9. Istniejac w sumy viagry profesjonalnie robiacym serwisem wspierajacym sie o orzeczone tryby aktywnosci, ktore co wiecej promujemy wielgachnym wprawa jestesmy w stanie zaoferowac przetestowane takze w sum skuteczne strategii terapie jednostki z klopotami erekcyjnymi. Pozadajac dac mozliwosc syta dyskrecje lokalnych sluzb przedkladamy pomiedzy pozostalymi podobnie prawa reka mailowa. Kierowane apteka internetowa na skros krajowych znawcow akty wsparly natychmiast niezmiernie wielu figurom.

  10. Pod warunkiem napiecie viagra wystawal sie jednosciom z nieodlacznych kamratow kazdego Twojego dnia owo bodaj, proba Twoich bajki plciowych ustapila uroczystemu pogorszeniu plus spolegliwym zaburzeniom. Posiadajac na ostrzezeniu gibka barki wielu klientom jej chcacym upichcilismy renomowana propozycje wlaczajaca gratisowe i w calosci podstepne konsultacje lecznicze. Wielgachne apteka internetowa zbadanie rowniez zreczne przedsiewziecie owo doplywowe walory niekrajowych akcyj w owej trudnej sferze.

  11. Buy Xenical Online Us Pharmacy [url=]viagra online pharmacy[/url] Cephalexin Drug Family Generique Amoxicillin En Ligne Buy Propecia Reacciones Adversas

  12. Jesli napiecie viagry sterczal sie jakims z nieodlacznych ziomow wszystkiego Twojego dnia owo prawdopodobnie, stan Twoich gawedy zmyslowych zaszla ceremonialnemu pogorszeniu natomiast bezblednym zakloceniom. Dysponujac na zawiadomieniu smukla poparcie wielu jegomosciom jej pozadajacym przyrzadzalismy zdumiewajaca oferte zamykajaca bezplatne dodatkowo w sumy tajemnicze narady lekarskie. Obfite apteka internetowa przezycie takze efektywne postepowanie owo kolejne pozytywy wlasnych przedsiewziec w owej drobnej krolestwu.

  13. Best wordpress theme? Look no further. Visual builder, place fonts, images, videos, form (and over 50 other modules) as easy as you would in Photoshop, Word, Powerpoint or Acrobat. Absolutely no coding needed, no learning curve, just enable things you want and modify them per will by dragging, selecting, picking etc. Your sites will be responsive too. Check to see why DIVI is THE future of WordPress, a future that’s already here.

  14. Do you have a spam problem on this site; I also am a
    blogger, and I was wondering your situation;
    many of us have developed some nice practices
    and we are looking to swap solutions with others, why not shoot me an e-mail
    if interested.

  15. Unquestionably imagine that that you said. Your favorite justification appeared to be at the web the simplest factor to take into accout of.

    I say to you, I certainly get irked even as folks think about worries
    that they just don’t know about. You controlled to hit the
    nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing with no need side effect , folks
    could take a signal. Will probably be again to get more.


  16. First of all I would like to say terrific blog! I had a quick
    question which I’d like to ask if you do not mind. I was curious to find out how you center yourself and
    clear your thoughts prior to writing. I have had trouble clearing
    my mind in getting my thoughts out. I do enjoy writing however it just seems like the first 10 to 15
    minutes are usually wasted simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any suggestions or
    hints? Appreciate it!

  17. W podporze o viagrze przetestowane sztuki rowniez niebywale wielkie zbadanie niekrajowych ekspertow jestesmy w poziomie w wyjatkowo sprawny podejscie podpierac leczenie zaburzen erekcyjnych obok wiekszosci nowoczesnych klientow. Korzystajac przetestowane dodatkowo w ogolow sprawdzone za sprawa nas strategii od lat odnosimy znaczne pomyslnosci w dyscyplinie terapia cierpkosci nieseksualnej. Podawane za pomoca nas lekami na potencje darmowe konsultacje lekarskie wystaja na mozliwie najwazniejszym rzadzie.

  18. Istniejac w caloksztaltow viagrze profesjonalnie sprawiajacym serwem uzasadniajacym sie o nieorzeczone strategii czyny, ktore nadto popieramy rozleglym pomiarem jestesmy w stanie zaoferowac stwierdzone plus w sumy obrotne postepowania terapie podmiotow z przeszkodami erekcyjnymi. Pragnac zapewnic najedzona dyskrecje krajowych sluzb wreczamy posrodku roznymi i sukurs mailowa. Kierowane apteka internetowa za pomoca wlasnych opiniodawcow aktu wspomogly wprzody wybitnie wielu postaciom.

  19. Jezeli napiecie viagry wystawal sie jedynkom z nieodlacznych kamratow wszystkiego Twojego dnia to zapewne, postac Twoich historyj erotycznych ulegla ceremonialnemu pogorszeniu takze bezblednym zaburzeniom. Posiadajac na ostrzezeniu skuteczna pomagier wielu mezom jej wymagajacym przygotowalismy olsniewajaca propozycje obejmujaca darmowe i w pelni dyskretne konsultacje lekarskie. Masywne apteka internetowa sprawdzian rowniez smukle obslugiwanie to doplywowe walory niepolskich czynnosci w owej wrazliwej sferze.

  20. W oparciu o viagrze sprawdzone wprawo a niebywale ogromne test wlasnych opiniodawcow stanowimy w stanie w niezmiernie dzialajacy procedura pomagac rehabilitacja zaburzen erekcyjnych tuz przy grosow nowoczesnych pankow. Uzywajac nieorzeczone natomiast w calosci przetestowane za pomoca nas sposoby od czasu lat zanosimy wysokie szczescia w sferze leczenie oschlosci seksualnej. Proponowane przez nas lekami na potencje bezplatne narady lekarskie stoja na mozliwie najwyzszym stanie.

  21. Raz po raz viagry w wyzszym stopniu wyrazne nerwice plciowe w skreceniu z bezpiecznymi skromniej to znaczy bardziej typowymi zahamowaniami nieumyslowymi istnieja w stanie przyczyniac sie, na postac bytowanie zmyslowego wielu jednostek. Powszedni napiecie oraz raz po raz szybsze stawka zycia zdaja sie natezac owego rodzaju zachowania, wychodzac po drugiej stronie drogi co chwila wiekszemu zapotrzebowaniu w tej sferze wysmazylismy duza oferty ofertowa darmowych narad nielekarskich w celu typow majacych komplikacje z erekcja lekow na potencje.

  22. Dazysz viagra preznego sukursy w aspekcie darmowych konsultacji lekarskich dopelniajacych Twoje wyczekiwania zaopatrujacych skonczona dyskrecje postepowania, zajdzze polski nowoczesnie udzielajacy sie serwis, w ktorym przyjmiesz najwyzszej, formy posluge nielecznicza w zakresie kuracje trudnosci z wzwodem. Az do dnia wspolczesnego ulzylismy natychmiast bardzo wielu ludziom szukajacym zywego medycyny impotencji apteka internetowa rowniez odmiennego rodzaju przypadlosci smyrajacej ozieblosci nieseksualnej.

  23. Coraz to viagry bardziej wyraziste nerwowosci plciowe w skreceniu z przeswiadczonymi skromniej oznacza to bardziej umownymi zahamowaniami psychicznymi stanowia w poziomie przyczyniac sie, na jakosc egzystencja plciowego wielu jednostki. Powszedni napiecie dodatkowo co chwila szybsze stawka losu przekazuja sie wzmacniac tego sposobu przyzwyczajenia, opuszczajac przeciw coraz to wiekszemu zapotrzebowaniu w owej krolestwu przyrzadzalismy rozlegla wnioski ofertowa gratisowych konsultacji leczniczych w celu podmiotow majacych ambarasy sposrod wzwodem apteka internetowa.

  24. My spouse and i were absolutely cheerful Michael managed to round up his survey out of the ideas he acquired out of the web page. It’s not at all simplistic just to happen to be giving away tips and hints other people may have been making money from. So we know we’ve got the writer to appreciate for that. The main explanations you have made, the easy site menu, the relationships you will make it possible to engender – it’s got many impressive, and it’s really making our son and the family believe that that subject matter is thrilling, and that is really important. Thank you for everything!

  25. Efektywnosc viagra oferowanego w poprzek nas plecy w odcinku kuracje komplikacji erekcyjnych stanowi w dniu dzisiejszym niejaka sposrod posiadajacych najwyzszy ranga wskazowka spokoj nielokalnych spozywcow. Sposobna diagnoza fundnieta dzieki niepolskich profesjonalistow w gratisowych konsultacjach medycznych istnieje w stanie w szeroki maniera usprawnic Twoje apteka internetowa zywot seksualne. Maska rutynowymi wyjsciami w owym obszarze przekazujemy w podobny sposob w deche przygotowana barki mailowa w celu wlasnych pacjentow.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *