How Mama Got Her Groove Back and Became a Runner

When my daughter was 2 years old I was sick of being in a funk. I was about 20 pounds heavier than I wanted to be and nothing in my life felt like mine. I had recently become a full time mom after leaving my job as a children’s pastor and though I loved it and in some ways felt more freedom than I ever had (until then I had worked at least part time since I was 16) I also felt stifled. It’s really easy to feel trapped as a stay at home mom, whether you live in an apartment or a big old farmhouse with land! So I registered for a 5k running race. It wouldn’t be my first but it would be my first since becoming a mom. I was excited and glad to have something to train for and look forward to. I had no idea what it would become.

Something turned off in my brain after giving birth to my daughter. I had always been pretty driven, and at the very least busy. There had never been a season in my life where I was just doing one thing. When I was in high school I was also working and also volunteering and also in extra-curricular activities. Ditto with college. When Joel and I got married I was working and going to grad school and volunteering…yadda yadda yadda. Postpartum depression took away my ability to be a people-pleaser, which might have been a tremendous gift in the long run but that’s a topic for another day. It also took away my ability to fill my plate to overflowing. I pared. it. down. I had to. The anxiety of too many people depending on me was overwhelming, let alone the life of a tiny infant. So I had my family and I had my job, and that was good. And then I even said goodbye to my job, and that was good too. And then one day I realized that I was really starting to heal and could probably add something to my life again without insomnia and panic attacks. I am so glad that something was running.

It was this time two years ago that I ran that 5k. Helvetia. A lot of my friends were there too, running the 10k or the half marathon, and that’s when I felt it. That resurgence of the competitive me. The one whose inner voice says “I can do that, too” and actually goes for it. That me had been dormant for quite some time and I knew I NEEDED to grab hold before the fear sneaked back in. I went home from that race and registered for an August 10k and a last week of September half marathon. Now I don’t know if you’re a perfectionist like me, but if you are then you know that signing yourself up for a race means YOU HAVE TO TRAIN because YOU WILL NOT FAIL! 😉 I joke, but I’m actually serious. One of my biggest fears (character flaw alert) is looking dumb, so I knew that if I signed up for a race that I would be expecting myself to A) run the whole thing B) look and feel like a runner doing it C) enjoy the damn thing and D) not finish last. Were those reasonable expectations? Maybe a tad lofty but those were my goals nonetheless and they shaped the next 4 months in a big big way.

I planned out a training plan for the 10k and from there a second training plan for the half marathon. Training for the half marathon actually required my mileage to be greater than 6.5 miles by the date of my August race so I ran my first 10k under my training time by 4 minutes, didn’t slow on the uphills, and literally smiled the whole time. On the first day of my period. Heck-freaking-yes! And that was it. That high, that feeling of success and accomplishment was pivotal for my healing. Because I was broken after my daughter’s birth. Broken and sad and jealous and shamed. I felt disconnected from my body and was angry that it had failed me. Finishing that race strong in the same body that had undergone major surgery to deliver my daughter 2 years prior was the first step in physical redemption. And it felt amazing. This running this was a game changer and I was hooked.

By September, I knew that my body could do the work and run the 13 miles and change when the day came. But my mind…could I actually believe in myself enough to push through fatigue and pain? Could I run those miles alone with nobody there to cheer me on and still push it? It turns out, the answer to all of my questions was yes. When training meant that I missed my daughter’s bedtime or had to rise at the crack of dawn to get the miles in, I did it. When it meant having to take her along in the jogging stroller, I did it. When it was 90 degrees and my only option was an afternoon run, I did it. And when race day came with a misty rain falling the whole time and a nasty headwind from miles 7-10, I finished. I walked some. That didn’t really matter so much by that point. The work had been done and the result had already shaped and changed my heart. I had set a goal for myself and followed through. I was capable. I was strong. I was motivated and could take the steps necessary to see success. And that, dear friend, was a big deal.

For a lot of people, running is a fun group thing. You might train every weekend with friends and sign up for races together which is what I am starting to search for in this season of life. But I have discovered that despite my attempts to make that particular season of my running life a social one, it is quite pivotal that it wasn’t. The healing that took place that summer needed to be an individual and personal healing. I needed to be alone on those trails and on that track and on that treadmill. I needed those solo drives to the race site. God moved and worked and displayed grace upon grace in those hours and I think I would have missed it had I been wrapped up in chatter.

Running is one of the dearest things to me, even though I don’t go nearly as often as I would like. When I walk out the door and push the “start” button on my running app I become my best self. I become the me that knows both my weaknesses and strengths and accepts them lovingly. I become the me that is patient with myself and with others. The me who recognizes her need to space and decides that’s OK. And in the long months waiting to conceive my son, running reminded me that God made me strong and whole…talk about humbling. It is a friend that has seen me through and meets me right where I’m at.

What about you? What was or is or will be your conduit to healing? What is your escape from a life that doesn’t currently feel like your own? If you don’t have the answer to that then I urge you to find it. We weren’t designed to tread water. No. No, there is so much more to be had. So much more.

 

36,483 thoughts on “How Mama Got Her Groove Back and Became a Runner”

  1. [b]Добро пожаловать на наш сайт[/b]
    [b]V.I.P. Услуги
    OpenVPN
    DoubleVPN Service
    Proxy/Socks Service[/b]
    [url=http://0.00000007.ru/2#Zs16H05PKB]
    [img]http://0.00000007.ru/3#Cc8GSbV1YW[/img]
    [/url]
    ————————
    Всегда огромное количество socks и proxy серверов online
    сейчас: 33557 IP в 198 государствах
    [b]Высокая анонимность – мы гарантируем, что наши прокси сервера полностью анонимны[/b]
    (тоесть не ведут логов и не видоизменяют[b] http заголовки)[/b]

    Шифрация траффика до сокс сервера, собственные технологии туннелирования траффика!
    Сверхнадёжная защита IP и всех без исключения соединений без использования VPN
    Возможность защищённого соединения с сокс серверами включена на всех тарифах! Утаить или изменить ваш IP можно двумя кликами мыши.

    [b]Совместимо с Windows 2k/2k3/XP/Vista/Seven/Win8
    Совместимо с MacOS, Linux, BSD (100% работоспособность через WINE)
    Совместимо с любыми виртуальными машинами[/b]

    Безусловно САМЫЕ дешевые цены на безлимитный доступ при самом высоком качестве
    Наше правило – больше покупаешь – меньше платишь
    Возможность выбора наиболее подходящего анонимного прокси сервера – фильтрация по маске
    -IP Hostname Language Uptime Country City Region-
    Неизрасходованные прокси не сгорают при истечении срока действия аккуанта.
    ICQ бот на всех абсолютно тарифных планах!
    [b]Профессиональная техподдержка[/b]
    Автоматическая оплата средствами популярных платёжных систем WebMoney , PerfectMoney и BITCOIN
    Полностью Анонимный VPN Сервис
    Доступ по защищённому https протоколу
    [b]Всё что требуется для получения доступа это зарегистрироваться и произвести оплату![/b]

    [url=http://0.00000007.ru/2#FPB7pDMN01]Vip proxy[/url]
    __________
    biz +в обход блокировки
    купить прокси +для брута
    вконтакте вход +на страницу обойти блокировку
    настрою прокси сервер

  2. I think this is one of the most important info for me.
    And i am glad reading your article. But should remark on few general things, The web site
    style is ideal, the articles is really great : D. Good job, cheers

  3. What i don’t realize is in fact how you are no longer actually a lot more well-favored than you may be right now.
    You are very intelligent. You already know therefore
    significantly in terms of this subject, produced me
    personally consider it from a lot of numerous angles.
    Its like women and men are not involved except it is something to accomplish with Lady gaga!
    Your own stuffs great. All the time handle it up!

  4. canada meds viagra

    canadian drugstore cialis cialis pharmacy rx one

    Viagra Canada – HEALTHViagraCialisinCanada.com
    [url=http://healthviagracialisincanada.com/]Viagra & Cialis In Canada – Buy Sildenafil Tadalafil Online – Cialis Viagra Cost Per Pill HealthViagraCialisinCANADA.com[/url]

    canadian cialis pharmacy

  5. Attempting to find the perfect gift for a 21 year old these days, the impact folks celebrity culture has brought the latest market for the perfect coming-of-age present. Trends come and go, certainly, but what you may hold bought as 21st birthday gifts a generation ago almost certainly would not be welcomed asap. And I blame Katie Price. Just let me demonstrate. The designer handbag is amongst one within the most popular items by women today. The label with the designers name along with the intricate and innovative designs is exactly what the women desire. It’s the designer bag offers an outfit that overall finishing come in contact with. The fashion week residing in New York present creations from designers on a yearly basis. In the latest one everything from accessories to clothing was displayed. However, amongst all the items that have been shown, one particular thing that grabbed a persons vision of nearly was the designer handbag, in its numerous colours and innovative designs. There were many different totes, handbags and clutches, displayed in innovative habits. Women’s Regular Yoga Crossover Tank Top – $9.99 Item# 31295-36W5: It was originally pricing $29.50 at Lands’ End, which continues to be reasonable for about a yoga top, but cost now is at $9.99, that correct. The sizes on offer are : only M, L, & XL. Unfortunately, if in order to a size S, you’re out of luck. Their tank top is produced with soft stretch fabric that moves in no time and provides greater comfort, whether you’re a master at yoga or just a newbie. [url=http://stuterieditions.se]http://stuterieditions.se[/url] Discount Mulberry sale take any presctiption at the moment. Our mulberry factory shop sells a series of mulberry bags, such as Mulberry Alexa, Mulberry Target, mulberry handbags, and so forth .. We believe you discover a Mulberry Shoulder Bags that enjoy most.I couldn’t survive happy making use of them. No matter just how much you scrub them, wish to have going staying the choice of traces of fox urine making a look in your salads and stews, and also you should these a forget. The fact that it was only recently dug is encouraging: cats in particular seek out areas of freshly dug, bare soil and move forward once which often can have grown to pay for it. Buying tiles is easy when you know what you’re hunting for. This article focused on Raft of madusa tiles exactly where there is you can buy them within australia. But Mona Lisa don’t manufacture every connected with tile around the world. The important thing is which you your research before buy tiles this means you don’t get tricked into paying an excessive amount of.Tips Regarding How To Match Designer Handbags With Clothes Coach purses are very durable and useful. Use a coach bag for very 12 a number of. But in most cases, you will not do which often. Because there are always more attractive coach mulberry bags come out every season. You will change your handbag begin to a look into coach’s latest design. [url=http://www.webbgalleriet.com]http://www.rickardarvius.se[/url] Mulberry alexa outlet is a quite small, comfy and aboslutely gorgeous Mulberry shoulder bag. While everyone is going wild about tote bags and big shoulder bags, Mulberry has produced a simple, beautiful, functional and great looking leather shoulder bag. Sixty the islands. You will be some connected with desktop program tech for the agency.be al sold out Upon Wednesday dawn, nerve-racking research projects which usually he has struggle to get in touch to virtually any Online Infobahn webpages. He has capable to connect to most of the colon community resources by just identify.Coach mulberry outlet Store Alternative individuals review similar dilemma. No buyers obtained it problem at Feb 5th. Three, if you choose the grand visual impact of clothes, so shoes be gentle point. An individual pick low-key clothes, optimum way is opt for superior shoes, so foods high in protein increase your mood. [url=http://www.rickardarvius.se]http://www.rickardarvius.se[/url] Be it a party, marriage or first day in office one must have separate handbags which suits your personality and wear. You don’t have left too far to get these designer handbags and bags. In this particular high tech world it is all available in the doorstep through click of the mouse. So just log in the internet and shop for that best suited handbag this mulberry handbags or fendi bags for yourself online. It’s really easy? I am the fan of coach, I be familiar with about this brand for several years. The first time I saw coach bags, I was hit coming from the stylish structure. To tell the true, I admire the talent with the designer. Buying tiles is easy when you know what you’re on the lookout for. This article focused on Mona lisa tiles and where you buy them around australia. But Mona Lisa don’t manufacture every form of tile obtainable. The important thing is that you just do your research before buy tiles in order to don’t get tricked into paying associated with.List Of Top Designer Handbags [url=http://www.vwbullikochbuch.com]http://www.vwbullikochbuch.com[/url] Learning to grip the cue stick is very personal; mulberry bags everyone has an alternative way that is most comfortable to the child. Grip it having your dominant hand, and develop a sturdy bridge with one other that will allow support however additionally mobility. Mulberry: The gathering of mulberry handbags was intricate as well as flirty. It was a remarkable collection which was made significantly more dramatized with sparkling and beaded curtains and panthers covered with glitter. There were many bags like leopard print bags, taupe shoulder bags and chain strapped Edna. Net these handbags were joined by these shoes which have leopard prints heels. If thinking of the top-quality or ideal place to purchase all your outdoor needs, you are looking for a place where many good regarding alternatives and quality pieces. This place describes the North Face plug. This place is good with tons of dresses and gears which you can use for your outside activities such as hiking, climbing, rappelling, or anything else. Outdoor activities take high quality accessories, gears and dress in. As a winter month comes, it essential for you shop around for most significant clothing in which give you warm, ease, relaxation and security that you need.
    [url=http://www.venabygdegard.nu]http://www.vwbullikochbuch.com[/url] You saves as almost as much ast 30-60% on any product from now there are. You can find a Coach outlet anywhere in your town on a driving array. If you do not know about one with your city, just look for the list of Coach Outlets online.Burberry Handbags Durability And High-Quality Materials There are extensive different clothing stores as well as freestanding that provide great deals on tire maker clothes for ladies of all shapes and sizes. For those who have ever visited a tienda ropa or outlet online you have in all probability found a wonderful item an individual cannot live without. Most people have a tienda ropa that they travel to regularly to pay for clothes. It is nice to own one store that you are count on to have the kind of clothes you like and feel comfortable in yet still having item that fits you the most important. But what about when that you do not have time for run in order to the store because car is associated with shop anyone know the particular will start crying the minute you put him in the car seat? They are currently in classic shape, with old brass buckle combined with suede small cloth. Whether you are an office lady or an adolescent girl out there for shopping, this bag with a suggestion of nostalgia will make each girl more known as long as going that isn’t popular Capri pants and shoulder-shrugging match and fit. [url=http://www.webbgalleriet.com]http://www.rickardarvius.se[/url] Coach brand fantastic famous all around the globe. It is not surprising notice coach bags outer. This brand means the fashion trend, and shows you really different in your. Sixty six months. You will be some regarding desktop program tech for your agency.be al sold out Upon Wednesday dawn, nerve-racking research projects which usually he has struggle to get in touch to almost any Online World-wide-web webpages. He has capable to connect to all the colon community resources just identify.Coach mulberry outlet Store Alternative individuals review similar problem. No buyers obtained it problem at Feb 5th. Retail store your designer bag appropriately. Nature’s components can damage your Chanel handbags or mulberry handbags and provide about your crooks to fade or their leather to become brittle. When they are not making regarding them, retailer your bags in their dust bags in a vertical position in a closet (sunlight leads to their shades to fade). Stuff wrapping paper or newspaper in the bags so these people retain their shape. Always make sure that you additionally put a dehumidifying item, this sort of as silica gel, on them to keep moisture out and defend against mildew and mold. .

  6. This design is incredible! You certainly know how to keep
    a reader amused. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved
    to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Excellent job.
    I really enjoyed what you had to say, and more than that, how you
    presented it. Too cool!

  7. [url=http://rrr.regiongsm.ru/33]
    [img]http://rrr.regiongsm.ru/32 [/img]
    [/url]
    Благоустройство и асфальтрование в Краснодаре и г.Усть-Лабинск. Решение любого вопроса по Благоустройству Краснодара и края. Точно в срок

    Подробнее… Благоустройство-Краснодар.РФ … 8(861) 24-123-45
    ___________________________
    жалоба асфальтирование
    административные штрафы за благоустройство
    благоустройство и озеленение территории в спб
    муниципальная программа благоустройство сельского поселения 2016-2020
    муп благоустройство алушта

  8. For sale qld, buy in australia store and getting prescription uk, generic online best price except buying from canada. Pills to buy also overnight shipping usa, price of without insurance and price in philippines despite price of in usa.

  9. Day ago i got some amazing info about Omega 3 stuff and now i really wanna get it. But i’m not absolutely sure which pluses will i have. I’ve found this omega 3 info , and currently i want to purchase it with good price. Any idea?

  10. Thanks for the good writeup. It in fact was a entertainment account
    it. Look complicated to more introduced agreeable from
    you! By the way, how could we communicate?

  11. Thanks for the marvelous posting! I quite enjoyed reading it, you could be a great author.I will be sure to bookmark your blog and will eventually come back at some point. I want to encourage you continue your great writing, have a nice morning!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *