Growing a Rocky Garden- The Freedom of Imperfection

garden

 

I am a classic perfectionist. Born of a family of “it’s the other guy’s fault” and “you’re the best one out there” I grew up expecting more of myself than I should have and did not experience failure well. I still don’t. I’m pouting tonight. I’m finally not too proud to admit that. I submitted a short writing piece- not my best work but still good- to a motherhood journal to be one of this quarter’s authors. I did not get selected. So much of me wants to sink into the words that my dad would say if I were to call him tonight and tell him. “It was rigged. You’re just as good as the ten people chosen. They must have been intimidated by you…” But the truth is, I read the pieces written by the women who were selected, and they are simply much better writers. The prose, the voice, the lyricism in each of their pieces was exquisite. What I had to offer wasn’t up to par, plain and simple. And that’s OK! Can I get better? Absolutely. Do I want to become a better writer? Yes. Does this relate to motherhood? It does. 😉

I want to be the perfect mom. It’s my “job”. I’ve been good at every job I’ve done. But all of those jobs came with training, with clear expectations and regular affirmation of work quality. Nothing prepares us adequately for the thrill, shock, and rollercoaster ride that is mothering a child. And yet we hold ourselves to a standard that suggests otherwise.  This morning my daughter screamed and got mad at something (a daily occurrence) but for some reason the way she yelled stunned and terrified my 5 month old son to the point of hiccuping sobs. His hiccuping sobs made my daughter feel so bad that she started bawling and I was left to rock, shush and calm both of them thinking to myself “who could have told me that I would be here, trying to calm both of my hysterical children all because of one angry little scream?” I had to laugh. They were both crying simply because the other was crying! I wanted to scream at the lunacy of it! The whole situation was ludicrous. And there are many many ludicrous scenarios that we will endure in our parenting journeys. Nothing prepared me for the night that my daughter would throw herself out of her crib in a desperate attempt to get to us. Nobody prepared me for my son being wheeled on a cart into the NICU just minutes after he was separated from my body and for the first time in 41 weeks not being able to wrap my arms around him. And most days I certainly don’t know what to do with my too smart, so fiery, always questioning little girl. I snap. I yell. I make mistakes and I hate it. I’m not perfect at being her mother. But do you know what my Heavenly Father reminds me in those moments of intense remorse when I have to hang my head at the way I fall short or am left powerless? My kids don’t need a perfect mother. Neither do yours. Because they are going to fail. They are going to make mistakes and fall down hard and come up short. And they don’t need a parent who tells them to place blame elsewhere. They don’t need a mother or father to make excuses for them or to tell them they need to be perfect at everything. Our children do need someone to show them their strengths and weaknesses and to see both with grace-filled clarity. They need someone to hold them when they fail and to explore both the ways in which they can do better and the ways in which they simply can’t. Sometimes even our best will not make the grade. That’s OK too. It can be shocking to have those first experiences of wingless leaps. We are not always going to take off and soar. Oh we want to. So badly we want to. Especially when we work so hard. Tally the bruises. Safeguard the scars. They make you human and ensure that your babes will be raised with the fearlessness that comes with pure love and acceptance. My garden is filled with rocks but it is yielding some beautiful growth. If that’s not a metaphor for motherhood then I don’t know one.

Grace to you, sweet hearts. There is freedom in grace

42,577 thoughts on “Growing a Rocky Garden- The Freedom of Imperfection”

  1. Lucas: I think when it comes to decarbonization, there is a lot to the idea that the developed world has just outsourced a portion of their carbon emissions to Asia. But it's far less clear with respect to oil efficiency, since manufacturing is not particularly oil intensive (it relies on electricity – largely from coal – and process heat – largely from coal or natural gas.

  2. After interpret a scant of the blogposts on your web situate nowadays, then i truly equivalent your prepare of blogging. i bookmarked it toward my favorites situate list as a consequence desire be checking halfback soon. pls hunt my internet locate throughout the time that healthy plus lease me comprehend your thought.

  3. Apparemment on doit bien poser 3 questions à 1 seul dieu à la fois, mais c’est pas obligatoire que ce soit à chaque dieux….!on peut poser par exemple deux questions au dieu A (si c’est la même on peut savoir si c’est le dieu aléatoire)

  4. Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude! Thank you so much, However I am going through troubles with your RSS. I don’t understand why I can’t join it. Is there anybody else having similar RSS problems? Anybody who knows the answer will you kindly respond? Thanx!!

  5. 永远没话说2012 年 10 月 10 日游戏渠道:91版幻想精灵区服:水晶矿洞账号:newsanecore1ID号:62011角色名:JACK JONES1:建议开放双防装备系统,探索能探索出神奇之鳞之类的装备,后期全部是特攻跟普攻结合的NPC宠,从开了51级宠装起,也跟以前一样,要么普防,要么特防,建议出双防装。2:NPC属性加强宠物属性加强,更加体现出星级跟等级压制的明显,是否考虑适当调整NPC的难度?3:建议修改或者推出平民化的宠物(六围稍微好点的),如冷门的人形、不定、虫、草等属性蛋组的宝宝,目前流派基本就那么几个,这样做可以使游戏多元化,不是龙玩家一杆子打死一船人的格局。如果非RMB也能与RMB抗衡,刺激他们,还能刺激消费呢。4:增加起源之卵、宝箱、转生珠等道具的获得途径,可以通过环链任务(环链任务,可以是100环一组,中间再细分10环一小组,每环获得经验、活力、特训或者是金币等等,100环给予宝箱、转生珠、起源之卵等奖励,环任务可以是要求给予普通宠装、强化水晶、特训、特殊性格等级的宝宝,或者是金冠,银冠宝宝等)。5:增加钻石任务,同4点,可以是提交什么东西换取一定的钻石,或者似乎金币购买,或者只每日活动之类的。让更多非RMB的玩家有兴致继续玩,毕竟现在可以说不花钻石,后期没法完,花了钻石也不一定能玩的好,而这样做,第一,可以让跟多非RMB的玩家获得少量钻石,利用钻石可以发挥他们的智慧,做很多事情,也可以刺激RMB玩家,让他们有威胁感。这样是否他们就会更多投入去买钻石呢(这个叫不服输)好了,就提这么多!望采纳(我的是91的,刚复制前面的格式复制错了,重发一次)

  6. Woah! I’m really enjoying the template/theme of this blog. It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s challenging to get that “perfect balance” between superb usability and appearance. I must say that you’ve done a great job with this. Also, the blog loads super fast for me on Internet explorer. Excellent Blog!|

  7. Bien avant les bombes, les tags et les graffeurs il y avait, écrits d’un pinceau large et rapide, de grands slogans muraux, militants ou démonstratifs : US GO HOME, PAIX EN ALGÉRIE, NON A LA GUERRE ou le célèbre BONJOUR TRISTESSE sur une façade d’Alvaro Siza à Berlin, (avec des inversions de lettres quand ils étaient écrits depuis le haut d’un pont ou d’un mur, « la tête en bas »). Comment appelait-on ces inscriptions ? Certaines ont subsisté trente ans sur les murs du port à Marseille. Je retrouverai.

  8. Boy! Im really sad that even my saho brothers start to fall for the divide and rule policy of the Shaebia gang. Of course? every Saho knows his clan and has some pride in it, especially Kone-Are, but ask every Assoarta, from Fokrote Are, Lelish Are, Asakare, Sarma Are to Diq and Abusa in Eritrea and he will proudly tell you IM SAHO. So please brothers stop this smack. Its not only disrespectful towards your brothers but also baseless and unreal.

  9. I and also my friends have already been following the excellent suggestions on your web site and quickly came up with an awful suspicion I never expressed respect to the site owner for those tips. All of the people are actually consequently excited to read through all of them and now have definitely been taking pleasure in those things. Thanks for indeed being quite considerate and then for selecting variety of incredible tips most people are really desperate to be aware of. My personal honest apologies for not saying thanks to earlier.

  10. Hi, I do believe this is an excellent blog. I stumbledupon it 😉 I’m going to return yet again since I bookmarked it. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to help other people.|

  11. உங்க ப்ளாக்ல தான் எஃப் எம் ப்ளே ஆகுதா???? நல்லாயிà®°ுக்கு….

  12. "Service Guarantees Citizenship. Would you like to know more?"I don't have too much of a problem with veterans getting preference. Given the nature of government work, having a sense of duty would be a nice thing to have since it's harder to fire people for non-performance and harder to judge performance since making a profit is not a metric.

  13. tstester Donec consectetur libero ut tortor condimentum eu egestas est viverra. Sed eget turpis dui, sed auctor nisi. Fusce suscipit risus sed tortor mattis sollicitudin. Vivamus dictum, nisl sed aliquet sodales, nisi ipsum interdum metus, quis rhoncus felis ligula sit amet nisi. Quisque ultricies turpis nec ipsum rutrum condimentum.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *