Becoming Mom

One of the more incredible and mysterious things about becoming a mother is when exactly it happens. When is it official? There is no formal ceremony that initiates you into the club complete with a donning of cap and gown. There are ceremonies to be had, sure, and most of our births will include some sort of sheer, drafty hospital gown, but I don’t think the becoming of a mother happens with a turn of the tassel. It seems to me that it’s a process that starts with peeing on a stick, or perhaps getting the call that stops your heart with so much joy that it takes a beat to catch up, “you’re getting a baby. You’ve been chosen”. I think that the second we know that a chosen soul is to be ours that miraculous shift takes place. Any woman with a child in Heaven knows that motherhood doesn’t only start with birth- it happens before that. It happens with hesitancy and doubt at first. Am I truly pregnant? Am I really getting a baby? For some it is a shock. For others, years prayed for. Tears will be shed, both in fear and in joy. And slowly that realization starts to settle over our forever changed hearts. I am going to be a mother. I am a mother.

That is when the ceremonies begin. The baby showers, the purchasing of baby furniture and car seats. We start reading everything we can get our hands on (at least I did!) about pregnancy, birth, raising an infant, breastfeeding, attachment with adoption, making your own baby food, and how to get a baby to sleep. We form opinions about diapering, feeding, parenting, sleep, how long to rear-face in the car seat, pacifiers, day care, and babywearing. And somewhere in this process we fall head-over-heels in love with the precious baby that is ours, whether we are carrying that baby in our bellies or in the womb of another. The mom jeans have been donned as bellies grow and the anticipated day draws nearer.

And yet…and yet I think most of us will also argue that something indeed does change the second that chosen soul is earthside. Birth is twofold, in that when a baby is born, so is a mother. The entrance of a baby into the world is the culmination of what was begun 40-some weeks prior, but I think the distinction is that for the first time the two people of baby and mother are truly separate. Forever joined, but still separate. And THIS, this separateness is what I think is the most defining and challenging things about becoming a mother. Birth is a gain and a loss. It is the birth of a unique individual, crafted by the hands of an awesome Creator to fulfill a beautiful purpose in life. The gain is that as mothers we get to witness that life and steward it with gracious, patient love. The loss is that we don’t get to control it. There is so much that we get to decide for our children. All that research we do about purees verses solids and cloth diapers verses disposables is important, but it cajoles us into a sense of control that we relinquish with birth. The sudden realization is jolting. We don’t have ultimate control. We never did. The precious life that we carried in our bodies and hearts for 9, some of us 10 months is not just ours to carry any longer. It is achingly beautiful to touch our infant’s gorgeous little nose and kiss that bow mouth in the way that we have dreamed of for so long. And at the same time we acknowledge that the courtship and the anticipation have ended. It’s risky to love something so fiercely.

What we do with that tension defines how we mother. It is the knowledge of that give and take that fuels our patience and our stamina when the days and nights seem unbearable. It is the powerful understanding that our baby is a gift that at one time we did not have that becomes our center in the midst of tantrums and night terrors. And when we push the feathery hair off the foreheads of children that have lost that baby softness to sinewy muscles and long legs, it is the quiet recollection to a day long ago that anchors us. I chose motherhood. I chose this child and this child chose me.

I didn’t become a mother at 5:34am when I saw the faintest red “+” on a plastic stick. I didn’t become a mother when the last pull of the surgeon’s hand wrenched her pink roundness from my belly and announced, “it’s a girl”. I became a mother the first time I said yes. Yes to sacrifice and love and the greatest vulnerability I have ever known. Yes to fear and joy and to living with my soul forever changed because it has been uniquely tied to two others in a way that nothing could ever compare to. Today, tomorrow, and every day that I get the privilege of being called “Mom”. Yes.

133,031 thoughts on “Becoming Mom”

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  11. Não tem jeito de você fazer isso chegar ao candidato e à sua campanha, Coronel? Ele e o seu marqueteiro estão precisando de socorro urgente, para não repetir aquela campanha insossa, inodora e insípida que os levaram à derrota contra o poste do Lula. Nunca me esqueço de que eles, tendo a Erenice nas mãos, se deixaram acuar pelo Paulo Preto.

  12. Afortunadamente por aqui las fiestas populares tapan un poco otro tipo de celebraciones,no hay cosa mas estupida que las celebraciones patrioticas son como la autoafirmacion de algo,somos los mas grandes,los mas valientes,nos crece el pecho dos palmos,cosas de la raza,un festivo saludo.

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  17. Felicidades por el buen viaje que estás llevando.Espero con ansia a que empiece la aventura de verdad cuando dejes la UE.De todos modos aún me sigue quedando una duda, qué modelo de mono de cuero llevas? Porque te sigo desde el primer día y creo que en ningún momento lo has especificado. Y hay que echar un vistazo a ese mono mágico Un saludo y suerte!Tu voto: 0  0

  18. Thierry permettez moi de vous offir également un poème tout entier :Et l’unique cordeau des trompettes marinesIl a l’immense avantage d’occuper peu de place, c’est un poème de voyage en quelque sorte. Par ailleurs son intérêt didactique ne vous aura pas échappé puisqu’avec une louable concision il vous détrompe sur la trompette marine, instrument à corde et non pas à vent.

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  20. I wud have usd individal msks to bgin this prject cause the bakround is 2 diverse. I like th idea of using chanls, hven’t tried it yet. He lost a lot o hair n that hapns often bt for good effect, u shud try 2 get as mch in as posble for realism. Smtimes the only solution is 2 use simlar bakrounds or edit both elements 2 make them more simlar b4 merging them. Contrast, saturation, britenes, shadows are vry important. Is the light coming from the same direction? See my chanel 4 tutorials.

  21.  |   |   |   |   |  Il n’est pas étonnant que les préjugés soient particulièrement tenaces chez ceux qui ne fréquentent plus depuis longtemps ni les églises ni le clergé !Dans les très grandes villes cela va encore à peu près, mais ailleurs, quelle pauvreté digne…

  22. I’m at the same place and I too like the features and think it’s quite rubsot for a free download. I still have some confusion about the real-time debugger, specifically why I can’t step into’ the library functions. Admittedly, I haven’t spent a lot of time myself trying to figure that out. Also when I do the code completion for that .Date () stuff, it doesn’t add the ()s on mine and I had to type those in on my own. No big deal, and probably some Bill Gates middle finger to the Sun program that I’ll never figure out.

  23. For the whole friend circles things, Facebook can literally do ALL of that… They’re just called friend groups. I don’t see this service taking off at ALL. I see facebook jacking the best parts of it within a year and continuing it’s rein on top.

  24. [..YouTube..] Cara, sou fã do Celta, inclusive tenho um SUPER 03 4P, bem parecido com o seu. Ele tá SHOW !!! Muito bem executado o serviço e aparentemente mto FORTE.Uma sugestão…se houver oportunidade, é claro, este FOGUETE seria um ótimo desafiante para os CIVIC Si DA galera da REViTuP. Seria interessante ver um Celtinha andando com os “grandes”.Abraço!!

  25. You could always cut the difference and go for one of those super-toned Square-Enix bishonen. 😉 Some of ‘em are even used to being carried over the shoulder like so.Though… if there was a Capture the Hunk mode, could we play as Duchess Nukem? =D

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