Becoming Mom

One of the more incredible and mysterious things about becoming a mother is when exactly it happens. When is it official? There is no formal ceremony that initiates you into the club complete with a donning of cap and gown. There are ceremonies to be had, sure, and most of our births will include some sort of sheer, drafty hospital gown, but I don’t think the becoming of a mother happens with a turn of the tassel. It seems to me that it’s a process that starts with peeing on a stick, or perhaps getting the call that stops your heart with so much joy that it takes a beat to catch up, “you’re getting a baby. You’ve been chosen”. I think that the second we know that a chosen soul is to be ours that miraculous shift takes place. Any woman with a child in Heaven knows that motherhood doesn’t only start with birth- it happens before that. It happens with hesitancy and doubt at first. Am I truly pregnant? Am I really getting a baby? For some it is a shock. For others, years prayed for. Tears will be shed, both in fear and in joy. And slowly that realization starts to settle over our forever changed hearts. I am going to be a mother. I am a mother.

That is when the ceremonies begin. The baby showers, the purchasing of baby furniture and car seats. We start reading everything we can get our hands on (at least I did!) about pregnancy, birth, raising an infant, breastfeeding, attachment with adoption, making your own baby food, and how to get a baby to sleep. We form opinions about diapering, feeding, parenting, sleep, how long to rear-face in the car seat, pacifiers, day care, and babywearing. And somewhere in this process we fall head-over-heels in love with the precious baby that is ours, whether we are carrying that baby in our bellies or in the womb of another. The mom jeans have been donned as bellies grow and the anticipated day draws nearer.

And yet…and yet I think most of us will also argue that something indeed does change the second that chosen soul is earthside. Birth is twofold, in that when a baby is born, so is a mother. The entrance of a baby into the world is the culmination of what was begun 40-some weeks prior, but I think the distinction is that for the first time the two people of baby and mother are truly separate. Forever joined, but still separate. And THIS, this separateness is what I think is the most defining and challenging things about becoming a mother. Birth is a gain and a loss. It is the birth of a unique individual, crafted by the hands of an awesome Creator to fulfill a beautiful purpose in life. The gain is that as mothers we get to witness that life and steward it with gracious, patient love. The loss is that we don’t get to control it. There is so much that we get to decide for our children. All that research we do about purees verses solids and cloth diapers verses disposables is important, but it cajoles us into a sense of control that we relinquish with birth. The sudden realization is jolting. We don’t have ultimate control. We never did. The precious life that we carried in our bodies and hearts for 9, some of us 10 months is not just ours to carry any longer. It is achingly beautiful to touch our infant’s gorgeous little nose and kiss that bow mouth in the way that we have dreamed of for so long. And at the same time we acknowledge that the courtship and the anticipation have ended. It’s risky to love something so fiercely.

What we do with that tension defines how we mother. It is the knowledge of that give and take that fuels our patience and our stamina when the days and nights seem unbearable. It is the powerful understanding that our baby is a gift that at one time we did not have that becomes our center in the midst of tantrums and night terrors. And when we push the feathery hair off the foreheads of children that have lost that baby softness to sinewy muscles and long legs, it is the quiet recollection to a day long ago that anchors us. I chose motherhood. I chose this child and this child chose me.

I didn’t become a mother at 5:34am when I saw the faintest red “+” on a plastic stick. I didn’t become a mother when the last pull of the surgeon’s hand wrenched her pink roundness from my belly and announced, “it’s a girl”. I became a mother the first time I said yes. Yes to sacrifice and love and the greatest vulnerability I have ever known. Yes to fear and joy and to living with my soul forever changed because it has been uniquely tied to two others in a way that nothing could ever compare to. Today, tomorrow, and every day that I get the privilege of being called “Mom”. Yes.

4,050 thoughts on “Becoming Mom”

  1. Congratulate with victory on yesterday competitions Very pity that today we didn’t saw you in second round and I think that your second jump would be better then jump of Kamil Stoch If honest I was some surprised your result because you won National Championship on NH, and your yesterday second jump was nice, I’m not a specialist but it looks as you not in the worst shape but haven’t stability… I wish you good luck for tomorrow and don’t be sad for today result, season only begin

  2. Megcsináltam én is, nagyon jó benne a levendula (egy kicsit lehetne kevésbé édes), az állaga is szuper. Az uram elÅ‘ször azt mondta, hogy Å‘ ezt nem eszi meg, de aztán valahogy mégis lecsúszott. 🙂 Biztos, hogy fogom ismételni.

  3. يعطيك العافية محمودهل بالإمكان نشر هذه التدوينة في مجلة تحديد التخصص ؟وهي مجلة قائمة على مجهودات تطوعية من قبل مجموعة من طلاب جامعة الملك سعود تسعى إلى مساعدة الطلاب في اختيار تخصصاتهم و ماذكرته لنا في قصة الرائع أنمار و أصدقائه سوف يكون مصدر إلهام للكثير من طلبة الثانوية والجامعةالمجلة سوف توزع للطلبة مجانًا في الفصل الثاني من العام القادمما رأيكم ؟

  4. C’est vrai que ça semble d’être un bon produit =) Je ne connaissais pas non plus cette marque avant aujourd’hui. J’aime beaucoup l’abricot pour les produits de soins (masque, gommage), je trouve que c’est une odeur toute douce. =)

  5. Y en ese mundo al revés sólo algunos tienen el derecho a tener casa, porque esa gente está pidiendo que no les destruyan la suya. No deberían sorprendernos estas cosas de la policía, que curiosamente siempre se producen cuando pacíficamente la gente se manifiesta para salvaguardar sus derechos. No las he visto en las manis de la derecha, ni mucho menos cuando los nazis se manifiestan por Vallekas lanzando gritos racistas.

  6. Thanks my friend. It looks like Micro is getting some much loved attention. She loves to be part of what ever is happening. Her new trick is this major fly-by when she takes off or lands! She has to fly right past you so you can woop and hollar at how wonderful she is …! What a cutey!

  7. Thanks Grime, that’s very… um… interesting…Hey Sam-I-Am!!!That South Park episode was great!!!I think claims that Mormonism is an evil cult are a bit exaggerated, as I explained here: . Basically Mormonism had the misfortune of being a young enough religion that the information age hit before the paper trail got cold…Hey Rebecca!!!That’s an admirable goal too. In fact that was my second choice when I was trying to pick a theme for this blog, but I finally decided to go with the whole “live and let live” thing. Good luck to you though!!! 😉

  8. Hi ,This examination doesnot have pharmacy syllabus???????????Most of the patent issues are linked in pharmaceuticalsChemistry is the part of pharmacy syllabus where they know basics but not in deepfor engineering they are having specific syllabus whynot for pharmacy

  9. There are a lot of places that are nice to raise a young family and most of California is culturally diverse so no problem there. Since California is a huge state with not a lot of job opportunities I would first worry about finding a job and then look in that region at the different communities. At least that way it would narrow down your options and make advice more useful and manageable.

  10. Appreciating the time and effort you put into your blog and in depth information you
    offer. It’s good to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same
    outdated rehashed material. Wonderful read! I’ve saved your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds
    to my Google account.

  11. I simply wished to appreciate you again. I do not know what I would’ve used in the absence of those tips and hints documented by you over such topic. Certainly was the scary difficulty in my circumstances, nevertheless taking note of the well-written strategy you handled it made me to cry with joy. I am just happy for the service and as well , expect you recognize what an amazing job you’re putting in educating people using your web site. More than likely you haven’t got to know any of us.

  12. Absolutely. I slept much later the day following our clocks going back. My body really noticed the difference even on the same day the clocks were turned back. It’s been very cold here too. The temperature dropped around the same time as the time change. Tomorrow is supposed to be milder here though.I must check out your light you posted a link to. Every year I end up with S.A.D. in the winter so could use some help.

  13. Pues yo prefiero el 12 x12 a mi se me hace mas facil colocar las cositas, en los formatos mas pequeños siento que me falta sitio para poner todo lo que quiero y que no me cabe nada en esas paginas tan chicas. Pero como dice el dicho para gusto colores no?Eso es lo bonito que cada una acomode sus trabajos a como mejor se sienta y mas facil y bonito les resulte.Besos

  14. Thanks for sharing such useful information . I was currently building the website in WordPress and asked developers to do add this functionality. However, they hadn’t any idea about the link clocking. After reading your article, I forwarded the same link to them and they installed the plugin. Initially, I had to explore the link, but now it is working fine.

  15. Undoubtedly, It has multiple features which are useful for affiliate marketers. I am currently using Pretty Link to cloak the affiliate links. It also works fine for me. Thanks for showing an awesome alternative.

  16. Hi! I understand this is kind of off-topic but I needed to ask. Does operating a well-established website like yours require a lot of work? I am brand new to operating a blog however I do write in my diary every day. I’d like to start a blog so I can easily share my experience and feelings online. Please let me know if you have any ideas or tips for new aspiring blog owners. Thankyou!

  17. Between me personally and my husband we’ve owned more CD players in the past than I will count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (traditional & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last number of years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover precisely how well-designed and also fun to work with the underappreciated (as well as widely mocked) Zunes are.

  18. 우리카지노대한민국
    We’re a group of volunteers and starting a new
    scheme in our community. Your website provided us with valuable info
    to work on. You have done an impressive job and our whole community will be grateful to you.

  19. खादाडी पोस्ट लय भारी !! गोव्याला गेल्यावर जायला हवं नक्की. आमच्या मालवण ला ‘काळुंद्रे ‘ नावाचे पापलेट सारखे दिसणारे , पण एकदा खाल्यावर आयुष्यभर पापलेट ला विसरायला लावणारे खाडीचे मासे मिळतात . ट्राय करून पाहा एकदा ….

  20. the way for you to own your on business that you have been wanting for years. Watch the money roll in when selling handbags and purses wholesale. This is a trick that retail stores have know about for ages. The income you will be making will astound you. Since you will be buying such high quality purses in bulk you will be amazed at what low prices you will receive them at. You will be getting the same styles, fabrics

  21. Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet. This reminds me of something. I read a Hemingway biography a few years ago, and I have only read 2 or 3 of his novels. It was a hefty read, the bio, and afterwards I thought, “Why should I read all *about* this writer instead of reading his works?” Now, I tend to be a bit of a biography nut, so there’s that. And this project of yours clearly obviates any concerns you might have about reading the beautiful Dickens biography. But it’s an interesting thing about the literary biography… should one read about the author or simply READ THE AUTHOR? Just thinking out loud here.

  22.  NocT September 15, 2012 maybe try subbing some other more latest korean movies, not the Scent and Spellbound coz, there have been so much copy of that movie in the youtube and in some other sites, you should try to subbed movies that don’t have any eng subbed like this Runway Cop you have, and maybe try subbing Miss Conspirator or Thieves … thanks a lot keep up the good work.

  23. great post, very informative. I wonder why the opposite experts of this sector don’t notice
    this. You should proceed your writing. I am confident, you’ve a huge readers’ base already!

  24. Attractive element of content. I just stumbled upon your weblog and
    in accession capital to say that I acquire
    actually enjoyed account your weblog posts. Anyway I’ll be subscribing to
    your augment or even I success you get admission to persistently rapidly.

  25. I not to mention my pals have been taking note of the best suggestions located on the website then unexpectedly got a horrible suspicion I had not expressed respect to the website owner for those strategies. These men appeared to be consequently passionate to see all of them and have in fact been taking pleasure in them. Appreciate your actually being so kind and then for selecting this kind of marvelous areas most people are really eager to know about. My very own honest regret for not expressing appreciation to earlier.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *