An anchor for my soul

I had something else in my mind to write about tonight. Something other than what you will instead find in the space below. When I’m in the shower or driving and inspiration for a post strikes I jot it down. But having more ideas than time means that the list is getting longer. This frustrates me because I have the supreme adversity of being a postpartum, type B perfectionist. All that means is that every time I actually get the drive and inspiration to write, something (like a nursing baby) takes higher priority the second I sit down. But when circumstances for writing are perfect the free spirit in me rises up and shakes her chains and says “nope, you’re not writing tonight.” And then because I’m a perfectionist I chide myself for being a “bad blogger”. Such is life.   So I walked out into my backyard tonight to water the garden before settling in to write about a, b, or c topic on my aforementioned list but immediately I knew my fingers and toes and chest and belly were rising up with a story of their own. Because the moment my feet hit the grass on my walk to the garden the wind picked up and my whole body reacted to its meaning: change.

Fall is blowing in. A new season. Already, my mind asks? My baby was born in the winter, on the cusp of spring, but still two seasons ago. I wholeheartedly welcome the fall time in the Pacific Northwest. Autumn is my soul sister. But already? My son will be 6 months old this week. Half of a rotation. Half of a year. He sits up unassisted and babbles constantly, rolls across the floor or bed to what he wants. And in the same way that he was born, he greets the world face up, always joyfully grasping at life. And while I welcome days of more sleep and more independence I also crave the feeling of wrinkled newborn feet beneath my fingers. Every emotion that I didn’t yet have words for overwhelmed me in the face of this evening’s wonderfully cool breeze. I looked at my garden and took in its growth and ripeness, so close to harvest. Behind me the maple was tossing its first leaves to the ground. The first year postpartum is so much like the changing seasons. Somehow each day that lasts an eternity is over when we blink our eyes. We simultaneously love and hate the feedings and bathing and changings and forget to look up until the breeze hits our skin and suddenly we’re staring at the stars.

One of most overwhelming parts about the first year after our child’s birth is the sheer constancy of change. Just when we think we have a handle on something the rug is pulled out from beneath us. It’s really hard to feel like you’ve figured something out with your baby only to have a new milestone disrupt it two days later. Did you hear me? I said it’s HARD. It’s frustrating and exhausting and can leave you feeling really, truly powerless. Mamas, I am giving you permission to admit that all of this change is rough stuff. And I’m also going to let you in on another well-kept secret…it doesn’t exactly stop as they get older. There is always going to be change. Longer legs don’t just mean new clothes and a bigger bed. Longer legs can carry small bodies up and down stairs. Longer legs mean growing pains, and new words, and then school. Friendships and hurt feelings.  Eye exams and allergies. Every season will bring nuances to our kids that we love and some that we don’t really understand or care for.  But this first year is by far the most intense. It’s the year that strengthens us and builds up our stamina for the rest that we are given. It’s also the year that we fall unabashedly in love with our children. So much in love that on days when we are pulling our hair out because yesterday’s “get the baby to nap” trick fails we swallow our tears and keep at it. Love that shows us a bit more of what our Father’s love for us feels like.

Tonight as I swallowed the tightness in my chest God told me to press in to my fear and exhaustion. He gave me permission to feel it and explore its roots. But once I was done, I knew I was supposed to surrender. To bring my broken mothering and my broken offering to His feet where I could be embraced just as I embrace my son and daughter. With a ferocity of unconditional love. I have a ballast in Him. An anchor for my soul, and security that unlike everything else around me cannot be moved. Press in, dear ones. There is strength and peace to be found in every season. Even in the very hardest ones.


180,707 thoughts on “An anchor for my soul”

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  20. How one can authorize the usage of marijuana to your patients.
    In 1996, the state of California handed the Compassionate Use Act (or Proposition 215), which legalized the
    possession and use of medical marijuana for these in possession of a California medical marijuana
    card, which is issued to those suffering from the greater than 50 qualifying conditions laid out by the
    state government. Rival service Meadow claims to Uber over
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    skateboard), but Eaze seems to be the first dooby supply startup able to hand
    out a legal hashish card by means of EazeMD, its new video telephone convention service.
    That you must really ship a driver to deliver client items, but
    there’s no purpose it’s best to have to truly dispatch a physician and it actually just streamlines the process,” founder Keith McCarty said.

    Eaze would really like us to clarify that it allows legally
    certified third-get together docs to problem the cannabis card by way of EazeMD.
    In case this wasn’t clear within the article above, Eaze uses medical doctors to guage individuals who might
    qualify for using medical marijuana within the state of California.
    Overview Eaze is revolutionizing medical marijuana supply as the world’s first app-based
    mostly marketplace that connects verified sufferers to close by dispensaries.
    PrestoDoctor offers the best privateness and comfort while still
    offering totally qualified medical marijuana recommendations.

    In another big improvement for Maryland’s Medical Marijuana Program, the Maryland Medical Hashish Commission has simply announced the winners of
    the coveted dispensary licenses. With over 800 applications submitted,
    the commission selected 102 winners. The Maryland Medical Cannabis Commission is set to decide
    who the winners of the dispensary candidates shall be on November 21.
    These dispensaries are the retail outlets the place
    medical marijuana sufferers will be capable of buy
    their medication. Our aim is to continually educate others of the wonderful medicinal makes use of of cannabis
    by way of instructional campaigns along with holding all members of the group
    updated with the current status of the Maryland Medical Marijuana program.

    Should you arrive at the workplace not having accomplished
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    we make no guarantee. The workplace payment
    for having the workers do all the applcation is $250. This requires making the state accounts, with username and passwords, filling within the a number
    of on-line pages, printing, scanning, and making
    the appropriate files to be uploaded, and importing them, adopted by
    the submission of your bank card data to pay the state.

    As soon as your physician certifies your situation and
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    DOH will review the objects submitted and problem the 329
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    All 329 playing cards will be mailed on to the affected person.
    Sufferers are responsible for making certain that their
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    Recreational marijuana in Arkansas at the moment remains illegal however is accessible
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    Despite 28 states enacting laws legalizing marijuana either for medicinal or leisure use, dispensaries face a significant problem.
    To supply legal, licensed, marijuana dispensaries throughout the United States
    with a full range of fee choices that provide the
    convenience, security and reliability enterprise
    house owners and customers deserve.

    A response is required from grow websites, processing websites and dispensaries by December 1, 2017 as a way to
    have your registration renewed in 2018. We’re presently reviewing applications received between:
    September 6, 2017 by means of September 12, 2017. For complete purposes acquired during this time, cards will probably be mailed inside 7 to 10 enterprise days.
    For incomplete purposes, we’ll send you a letter to let you already know
    what is needed to complete your application. Starting June 2, 2016, receipts
    are issued to candidates who submit a complete utility per ORS 475B.415(2).

    The receipt has the identical authorized impact as a registry identification card for 30 days following the
    date on which the receipt was issued.

    The enrollment durations for these patients will be prolonged
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    OBSERVE: This extension is not relevant to patients whose cards have already been renewed.

    Over the previous yr, there was an increase in patient functions for the Medical Cannabis Program.
    The Department is expanding capability throughout the Program with a
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    I’ve determined to dedicate my life to helping those patients who profit from it’s
    many uses. A little bit of fast background: You need a legitimate doctor’s
    recommendation to lawfully possess and grow marijuana in California.
    Those with a advice may get a voluntary California state medical marijuana patient identification card.
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    Bay Area marijuana lawyer Lauren Vazquez, patients who see their major care provider,
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    The law in Massachusetts requires all patients to be registered with the
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    A patient must have a qualifying well being condition to acquire a suggestion from a licensed doctor.
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    In case you are a medical marijuana affected person in Massachusetts, it is possible for you to to possess and buy as much as 10 ounces
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    Anybody in CA can do it without the hassle of reserving an appointment they
    usually can receive the required letter within minutes, without leaving
    the sofa. The Compassionate Use Act of 1996” supplies exact pointers explaining beneath which circumstances a patient is eligible to request a medical card in addition to the amount
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    state Division of Public Health to determine a medical
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    The Medical Hashish Dispensary Program was created by Act 241 (Session Legal guidelines
    of Hawaii 2015), and is codified in the Hawaii Revised Statutes (HRS) at Chapter
    329D, HRS. The Hawaii Division of Well being’s Hurt Discount Providers Department has administered the Medical Cannabis Registry Program since it
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    Act 228 SLH 2000 – Hawaii’s preliminary Medical Use of Hashish legislation.
    Act 178 SLH 2013 – Makes several changes to the present legislation (such as: adequate
    provide” of medical hashish modifications to 7 plants, no matter maturity; useable hashish modifications to 4
    oz; enhance in registration charges from $25 to $35; and different
    changes) please learn Act 178 for more info.
    Act 241 SLH 2015 – Hawaii’s Dispensary regulation that paves the best way for the establishment of dispensaries in the state
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    to the medical use of hashish.

    These people have gone by means of many years of examine to turn into medical doctors.
    They are acknowledged with board certification from
    professional institutions such as the American Board of Doctors Specialties
    , the American Osteopathic Affiliation , and American Board of Medical Specialties.
    A medical marijuana card is an identification card that the cannabis dispensaries and state, in which a 420 affected person lives,
    acknowledge as a license to purchase medical marijuana.
    With it and a physician’s’s medical hashish card, sufferers can get, possess and even develop certain quantities of hashish and marijuana for their very own personal medical use.

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