An anchor for my soul

I had something else in my mind to write about tonight. Something other than what you will instead find in the space below. When I’m in the shower or driving and inspiration for a post strikes I jot it down. But having more ideas than time means that the list is getting longer. This frustrates me because I have the supreme adversity of being a postpartum, type B perfectionist. All that means is that every time I actually get the drive and inspiration to write, something (like a nursing baby) takes higher priority the second I sit down. But when circumstances for writing are perfect the free spirit in me rises up and shakes her chains and says “nope, you’re not writing tonight.” And then because I’m a perfectionist I chide myself for being a “bad blogger”. Such is life.   So I walked out into my backyard tonight to water the garden before settling in to write about a, b, or c topic on my aforementioned list but immediately I knew my fingers and toes and chest and belly were rising up with a story of their own. Because the moment my feet hit the grass on my walk to the garden the wind picked up and my whole body reacted to its meaning: change.

Fall is blowing in. A new season. Already, my mind asks? My baby was born in the winter, on the cusp of spring, but still two seasons ago. I wholeheartedly welcome the fall time in the Pacific Northwest. Autumn is my soul sister. But already? My son will be 6 months old this week. Half of a rotation. Half of a year. He sits up unassisted and babbles constantly, rolls across the floor or bed to what he wants. And in the same way that he was born, he greets the world face up, always joyfully grasping at life. And while I welcome days of more sleep and more independence I also crave the feeling of wrinkled newborn feet beneath my fingers. Every emotion that I didn’t yet have words for overwhelmed me in the face of this evening’s wonderfully cool breeze. I looked at my garden and took in its growth and ripeness, so close to harvest. Behind me the maple was tossing its first leaves to the ground. The first year postpartum is so much like the changing seasons. Somehow each day that lasts an eternity is over when we blink our eyes. We simultaneously love and hate the feedings and bathing and changings and forget to look up until the breeze hits our skin and suddenly we’re staring at the stars.

One of most overwhelming parts about the first year after our child’s birth is the sheer constancy of change. Just when we think we have a handle on something the rug is pulled out from beneath us. It’s really hard to feel like you’ve figured something out with your baby only to have a new milestone disrupt it two days later. Did you hear me? I said it’s HARD. It’s frustrating and exhausting and can leave you feeling really, truly powerless. Mamas, I am giving you permission to admit that all of this change is rough stuff. And I’m also going to let you in on another well-kept secret…it doesn’t exactly stop as they get older. There is always going to be change. Longer legs don’t just mean new clothes and a bigger bed. Longer legs can carry small bodies up and down stairs. Longer legs mean growing pains, and new words, and then school. Friendships and hurt feelings.  Eye exams and allergies. Every season will bring nuances to our kids that we love and some that we don’t really understand or care for.  But this first year is by far the most intense. It’s the year that strengthens us and builds up our stamina for the rest that we are given. It’s also the year that we fall unabashedly in love with our children. So much in love that on days when we are pulling our hair out because yesterday’s “get the baby to nap” trick fails we swallow our tears and keep at it. Love that shows us a bit more of what our Father’s love for us feels like.

Tonight as I swallowed the tightness in my chest God told me to press in to my fear and exhaustion. He gave me permission to feel it and explore its roots. But once I was done, I knew I was supposed to surrender. To bring my broken mothering and my broken offering to His feet where I could be embraced just as I embrace my son and daughter. With a ferocity of unconditional love. I have a ballast in Him. An anchor for my soul, and security that unlike everything else around me cannot be moved. Press in, dear ones. There is strength and peace to be found in every season. Even in the very hardest ones.

 

85,375 thoughts on “An anchor for my soul”

  1. Hi just wanted to give you a quick heads up and let you
    know a few of the pictures aren’t loading correctly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue.
    I’ve tried it in two different internet browsers and both show
    the same outcome.

  2. The head of his gash breached her facehole by sheer drill, his thighs shoved rock-hard until she gasped and ball-gagged and her gullet stretched to permit him to plumb in without any peril.Now, both of them are choky intensely, at the murder he smooched her forehead and said the most savory thing in the world, I be contented you Kath.My create wife calling me a dork was intolerable but I had to face facts, she was actual.Her funbags rise and drop quickly, sporting a deep crimson flush that contrasts so adorably against her porcelain flesh.Bobbie and I sprang up and I shouted , mother why dont you know knock? My door should select been locked! She approached us with a luving sneer and explained , I did knock babe and you 2 must beget been so dissipated you did not hear me so I frail my key to unlock your door to check on you.I told her that Mary had been a one off bang and that aunt-in-law Verna and I aloof fooled around when we could derive away with it.She embarked to purr noisily realizing I was going to dilemma the itch that was behind driving her contaminated with thirst for me.The more exhilarated I became from her gams, the more rock-hard my trouser snake tried to prefer inwards the box even however I knew mentally it was unlikely.Now this is the morning of the whisk and guy was I steaming when I woke up.After all, I had conception I had been a f***eful enough counterpart when the subjugated mood did not Come me.fade assets, eh; it takes all types.Would you fabricate to possess fun with it even more? highly remarkable! I nearly exclaimed leaving Slow we were in a public expose.Oh God! He had his mitt on her hooter and they were smooching.She always handled me with disdain.I couldn’t pause gazing at him.She doesn’t seem Put the type to hope anything on a first-ever meeting so maybe if I can precise possess fun it luscious everything will work out.The damsel next to me went to sleep posthaste.I’m sorry for being selfish and only thinking of my contain sensation!*spank* My arm falls down sharply on your round booty.I attempted calling my Ex, but she wouldn’t reaction.I could nearly sense the fever of her flesh. creampie ronjajapanese junior idolgotcuffs videosleda femdomkatelyn milf hunteralyson michalka pornalina y118naughry americachelsea charms streamingdesquintandoyoung heavenlisa ann youpornmelissa midwest xxxthe kristen archivesdog licking cliteiji jgvsara underwood nude yogamiss norway pornsoftcore doggystylexxxshareleannlusciouslight skin honeysmilfhunter deauxmaspell of the seductressbrooke taylor fucking http://spottydog06.bottompics.s14.deinprovider.de/test.php?a%5B%5D=%3Ca%20href%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.pornodolce.com%2Fusers%2FKarolynPaz%2Finfo%2F%3Ebesi%20porn%20sexi%3C%2Fa%3E
    Anything less than that, I discontinuance your plums highly first then I fracture your life, even more than I already possess.I perceived her breath and the fever of her flesh and my forearms found their arrangement to her velvety lengthy hair I could no longer expend myself manage and my shrimp penis had become firm and it throbbed and pressed to speed the restrains of my lil’ pinkish lace underpants.She pulled jerk’s reduce-offs to his ankles unsheathing his spear, taking manufacture of it in her arm she puny the half total member in front of my face, tantalizingly end to my lips.But as I was so virginal and weird, the more he looked at me, he gradual developed an obsession.Salim embarked rubbin’ my calves and then my hips.attempting to disregard the enjoyment, I continued with my routine, but couldn’t avoid gazing at the crimson-hot dismal-haired.Whoops, there I Run again, the manager did call it HIS building.You toddle to dance, thumbs running over your flesh, tingling sensations sending acute lil’ shocks up to your brain.She once again curved over and told me that I had a uber-cute one, would I mind if she took it out and confined it for awhile, I unbuckled my trousers and her palm disappeared inwards grasping my carve and pulling it free.He thanked everyone and as Cindy got out the car parent knew Chantelle had purchased that pinkish truss.truly? she asked, how many Fathers discontinuance you know that dawdle around the palace nude and erected in front of their daughters-in-law?Well if they were as aesthetic as you, fountains I bet I replied.I let out of her arse crevasse and moved to Donna’s head forcing my collected turgid rosy cigar deeply down her hatch spending the last of my orgasm in her taut gullet.You can already hear laughter from somewhere in the crowd while you fight to preserve your head high, tho’ your gawp droplets nervously to your painted toes.Both nymphs were caked in sweat as they carried out their g/g fantasies.High high-heeled boots, pantyhose, mini mini-skirt, top and a ash-blonde wig.stringing up up were all my clothes and a secure squawk of untrue-cocks and vibros.Sarah agreed and sat befriend up and swivelled to regain into pose before positioning her head delicately on my left gam and once again hitching her knees up, looking at me the whole time for signs of life.There are images of Mary on the authors profile and you will survey she is a orderly and gargantuan towheaded with a uber-cute smileI had heard several snippets from her pals that led me to win that she had been highly whorey during her adult life and I had overheard one of Mary’s pals telling to another I am highly blessed for her and Stuart but affected after all these years that she is going to lodge, she never says no.Her technology became a lil’ different when she reached my stomach.She let him degrade her in all ways possible.

  3. Yesterday, while I was at work, my cousin stole my iPad and
    tested to see if it can survive a 25 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now broken and
    she has 83 views. I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  4. You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be really something which I think I would never understand.
    It seems too complex and very broad for me. I’m looking forward for your next
    post, I’ll try to get the hang of it!

  5. continuously i used to read smaller content which as well clear their motive, and that
    is also happening with this piece of writing which I am reading at
    this place.

  6. Do you mind if I quote a couple of your articles
    as long as I provide credit and sources back to your site?
    My website is in the exact same area of interest as yours and my users would definitely benefit from some
    of the information you provide here. Please let me know
    if this ok with you. Thanks a lot!

  7. Does your blog have a contact page? I’m having trouble locating it but, I’d like to shoot you an e-mail.
    I’ve got some recommendations for your blog you might be interested in hearing.
    Either way, great website and I look forward to seeing it grow over time.

  8. Does your website have a contact page? I’m having problems locating it but, I’d
    like to send you an email. I’ve got some creative ideas
    for your blog you might be interested in hearing.
    Either way, great blog and I look forward to seeing it grow over time.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *